Square Peg Chronicles

Preliminary testing = done

2012-01-19T23:28:00.001-04:00

This morning markedthe completion of the preliminary test before in vitro. It’s called a mocktransfer and involved stirrups and probes... fun times. Anyway, now that the preliminary tests are completed, we start the officialprocess in a few weeks... actually about the same time I start my new job. Mindyou, it takes almost 2 months before we get to the stage of the actual embryo transferso we’re still a ways away. This morning I was exciting that things wouldfinally start moving along very soon. Tonight, panic has since settled in. Whatif this doesn’t work? 60% chance of failure is a big number. I was lying in beduntil a few minutes ago but I had to get up cause my mind was racing. I keepgoing over the steps involved in the process in my mind and keep coming to theend of the process and panicking that it might not work. If it doesn’t take...I’m not sure I can deal. We’ll be taped out financially, not to mentionemotionally. I know I should stay positive, but all I keep imagining is theworse. I wish I could just turn off my brain. :-(

Oncology it is.

2012-01-13T11:54:00.001-04:00

I thought I would update for those of you who were wondering.... I've decided to take the job in oncology (cancer patients). I can't say I'm thrilled, but it is what it is. I keep trying to see it as an opportunity for growth, but all I can see is additional stress at a time when I just can't handle anymore.

I start February 1.

Dumped

2012-01-04T14:27:00.002-04:00

I've been dumped by the peds department. :-( I found out just before Christmas thatthe mat leave I was replacing is coming back early... actually, I found out thesame day we got the news about the infertility issues... it was a very suckyday. At the time my head nurse was trying to figure out how she could keep me,but didn't have anymore details yet. I’ve since found out I would not be back inpediatrics on a permanent basis after January 30. I still have a job, ofcourse, but I will be reassigned to another department. I just got a call fromHR giving me my options. I can either work in oncology, orthopedics or float. Floatingmeans I wake up every morning, call in to find out where the hell I'm gonnawork that day. The stress associated with this type of work is high because younever know where you'll be and every department is so different. The thought ofit makes me sick. However, the thought of working in oncology or ortho isn’tany better. It’s definitely not the field that bothers me, it’s the departments.They are notorious for burning people out and having extra bitchy staff. When Igraduated, the government was offering a significant student debt reduction toanyone who would sign a two year contract with those departments... cause noone wanted to work there. Now, a year later, I get to work there without the studentdebt reduction. UGH!

The timing couldn't be worse with the pending IVF treatments. Atleast with my current job, I know my co-workers, many of them know my situationand I can easily step out for a few minutes for blood work, in anotherdepartments, it won't be as easy. Also, it's not easy being the newbie andhaving to step out for appointments. Hospital politics aren't making things anyeasier. If I take a mat leave on another department, I can't apply on anothertemporary posting for a year after I'm done that temp job. That means, if Itake a job on another department and a temp job in peds comes up, I can't applyfor it. I want to be in peds... it's my home. This whole thing sucks.

So here’s my pros and cons list:

Float:

Pros

- I’m not stuck in one departmentI hate and could end up floating on some of the departments I like
- Since I’m not associated to anydepartment, I can pretty much take my vacation anytime. On a department it goesby seniority… and I’m at the bottom of the list

Cons

- I wake up every morning full ofanxiety
- Every department is differentand I’ll never really get to that comfort level
- I don’t have steady co-workerswhich makes it hard to have people to lean on.

Oncology

Pros

- I’ve worked with oncologypatients in peds so it’s something I know a little. Experience in that departmentwould certainly help in peds in the future.
- I could gather more experiencewith central lines, chemo, picc lines and specialized dressings
- I would always work with thesame people and maybe I’ll luck out and find a friend or two
- Eventually I’ll get used to thedepartment and feel more at ease

Cons

- I would always work with thesame people and maybe I’ll get unlucky and be with the supremo bitches
- Oncology is rough and can bereally depressing

Orthopedics

Pros

- I did a rotation in ortho andactually kinda liked it
- I could gather more experiencein post-op care, pain management and broken limbs all of which I can apply inpeds in the future
- I’ve worked with kids withbroken bones in the past and always felt I could use more experience in thatarea so a job in ortho could give me the experience I need.
- I would always work with thesame people and maybe I’ll luck out and find a friend or two
- Eventually I’ll get used to thedepartment and feel more at ease

Cons

- It’s a super high-paced unitwith some really strong personalities. I think it might be even bitchier thanoncology
- It’s a physically demandingdepartment as most patients can’t move.

So that’s it. I have to call back HR tomorrow. I think I’m gonna sleep on it and see whathappens. If you’ve got an opinion – go for it!

So Busted

2011-12-11T17:24:00.001-04:00

Since our first appointment at the fertility clinic, we’ve had a few initial tests done. Last week the clinic called and asked us to come in to discuss the results. We were nervous because we weren't done all the tests and we figured they wouldn’t be calling us in if everything was perfect. We went in for our appointment on Friday and the news wasn’t good. They’ve discovered some anomalies that makes it really difficult for us to get pregnant on our own. In theory we could get pregnant on our own, but the chance of that happening is about 0.6%. They said our best chance to conceive would be through IVF with ICSI. :-(

ICSI (Intracytoplasmic sperm injection, pronounced "icksy") is an in vitro fertilization (IVF) procedure in which a single sperm is injected directly into an egg. You could say it's a step beyond IVF. With IVF they put the egg and the sperms together and hope they fertilize, while with ICSI you pay a couple grand more for the fertilization to be done manually. The doctor said our chances of conceiving with ICSI are about 40% to 50%. At least our chances are really good. I still have some testing to be done, so here's hoping there aren't any other issues.

Obviously, we are both devastated. After a quick meeting with the doctor, we were whisked away to see the nurse who went through all the procedures and pricing and the boat load of tests that need to be done. I started to bawl, I just couldn’t control my emotions. We went from everything is normal to things really aren’t good and we were both blind-sided. The information session with the nurse was so overwhelming.... I'm not even sure I know what she said. I really didn't think I would be so overwhelmed... I'm a nurse, I should get this shit!

Anyway, we are slowly coming to terms with the diagnosis. I actually never thought there would be anything wrong and the fertility clinic was only going to help us speed things along with an IUI because of my age. All our tests kept coming back negative, so I just never thought...

We're definitely going to proceed with the IVF with ICSI, we just have to figure out the financial aspect of it. We've decided to focus on having this first child and not worry about whether we can have several (which was our bigger concern before the appointment). We've put adoption on the back burner because it's just too much to deal with right now. It looks like we have a few months of tests and preps to do... not to mention figuring out the finances... so maybe in the Spring.

Name That Country

2011-12-07T13:23:00.001-04:00

About a month ago, Bentley got nipped while playing with some big dogs. It was pretty ugly looking when it first happened, but after a course of antibiotics and lots of cleaning, the cut is healing nicely. Recently we’ve noticed the wound looks like it’s gonna leave a scar... a scar that oddly looks like a country! We’ve had a debate over exactly which country it might be, so your feedback would be appreciated!Here’s what the scar looks like when you look at it straight on:

Now from some varying angles and potential countries: France?

Australia?

Not a country, but a province: New Brunswick?

USA?

Let me know what you think!

The reason why I’m not pregnant

2011-12-05T14:09:00.001-04:00

Forget the hormonal imbalances, or the timing issues, or any other unknown issues. I think I’ve figured out why I’m not pregnant: I’m just not ready. Most of you would be shocked to hear me say these words cause I’ve been ready for kids most of my life. However, in the last few days I’ve come to the realisation that I might not be in the best place to have a child right now... and maybe the universe realised that.While I was studying, professors all told us that the first year of your career in nursing would be the most difficult and the most stressful. Nevertheless, I always thought I would be above that. However, I recently realised that the stress of the job and shift work might be getting to me. Add to that the difficult adjustment I’ve had with new medication and the subsequent weight gain associated with the new meds and I’ve just not been in the greatest place emotionally in the last few months. I’m constantly exhausted and way too overemotional, as my husband can attest. I’m guessing adding the stress of pregnancy wouldn’t have helped the situation much.So it looks like I need to get healthy. It’s time to stop whining about not being pregnant and start taking care of me... if I could just get off the couch. *sigh*

More waiting

2011-11-26T16:02:00.001-04:00

After a year of trying, we finally had our initial appointment with the fertility clinic yesterday. I think I had so much hope that we would get all the answers yesterday, that I was crushed when they said: let’s do some more testing in the next few months and then see. Ugh. We’ve done all the testing! Now we have to pay the clinic to redo them all over again. As well, since it’s the holidays soon, the delay might be even longer. Frack.The waiting sucks. It’s already been 5 months since my first appointment with the gynecologist and now we’re talking about an extra 2-3 months. In the meantime, the doctor told us to make sure our timing was right and that maybe it would take. Yeah, cause we haven’t been doing that already. The tests we’ve done have revealed no abnormalities… the only issue is the extra loud ticking time clock ringing in my ear. I’ll be 36 in a little over 2 months and can’t help but worry we will never have enough time to have more than one kid.

Update on the Busted Babymakers

2011-10-26T14:36:00.000-04:00

Just a quick update on the current situation:1 - Saw my doctor this week and since all our tests came back normal and there is no known cause for our infertility at this point we move on to IUI. 2 - Just got a call from the fertility clinic and our first appointment is on November 25th! YAY! My doctor said it could take up to 3 months so I’m super excited we are getting in within a month. I’m so happy! We might even get to do our first round (and hopefully our only round) before the end of the year. Wheeee!

Those are some nice looking Fallopian tubes you got there

2011-09-29T15:09:00.000-04:00

I had my HSG test yesterday and everything went really well. It didn’t even hurt – yay! I got the results right away and everything looks great! Yay! Mr Perfect even got me a cake:

To be fair, I started the cake trend when his test results came back perfect:

My follow-up appointment with the gynaecologist is on October 24, so for now it’s more waiting. Overall, it’s good news... Only... I feel a little sad. It’s silly, I know, but if everything is perfect, why can’t we get pregnant? It’s frustrating not having an answer, you know? Things aren’t moving fast enough for me either. I hate that we have to wait another month to find out what happens next. She has the results – why can’t she just refer us to the fertility clinic?

When are you having a baby?

2011-08-30T20:51:00.002-04:00

That’s the question we have to get used to hearing. If the answer was simple, we would say September. No, not September 2012; September 2011... cause that’s how long we’ve been trying to get pregnant. Unfortunately, the answer isn’t that simple. *sigh*

I’ve always said my biggest fear was not being able to have children (whether biologically or through adoption) and over the last 9 months, my fears have slowly bubbled up. We’ve also run into a few roadblocks. So far, it’s nothing major, but it might be the reason why we haven’t been able to get pregnant so far. The first roadblock was discovered when my doctor sent me for a battery of tests. We discovered that my prolactin level is too high. Prolactin is a hormone which is normally produced when a woman is pregnant and when she is breastfeeding. It’s the hormone that reduces the chances of a woman getting pregnant while breastfeeding. However, we’ve all heard of woman who get pregnant even when breastfeeding so it’s not a complete loss just yet. The other challenge is my age. If I have to hear or read one more time how 35 is the deadly age when fertility starts to decline, I might just have to punch someone. However, that’s the reality of the situation. Every month that goes by, my capacity to have children is reduced. I feel like a ticking time bomb some days. Not all the news we’ve received has been bad, of course. Mr Perfect (being as perfect as he is), also has a perfect sperm count. Yay Mr. Perfect! Actually, I believe the doctor said “awesome swimmers” which Mr. Perfect has asked me to highlight anytime I talk about his junk. :-)

That being said, things are looking up these days! Yesterday I met with the gynaecologist (or vaginacologist as Mr Perfect likes to call her) and my appointment was awesome! First of all, she thinks the high prolactin might not be a concern after all and is sending me for follow-up tests. She also said that everything looks normal and that I’m definitely ovulating according to my charts. Another yay! Finally, she said she didn’t want to mess around with trying different things and wants us to get down to business ASAP. I was so happy she didn’t want to spend another year testing things out and wants to be proactive right away.

So here’s the plan. In a few weeks I will have an HSG test done to make sure I don’t have any blockages. If the test indicates everything is ok and we still aren’t pregnant, we will proceed to an intrauterine insemination or IUI, which involves way more people than I ever imagined would be present when I conceive a child. Although an IUI is generally used for cases that involve male infertility, the doctor wants to push for this since it optimises our chance of getting pregnant. Since time is a factor at my age, we are doing everything possible for a positive outcome. If all goes well, we could be welcoming a new baby as early as July of next year.

As a back-up measure we’ve looked into adoption and have put our names on the waiting list for a public adoption. Problem is, the waiting list is 8 to 9 years long! I’m not kidding. I asked the social worker if it ever happens that someone gets a child earlier than the 8 year wait and she said that in her 15 year career, one couple got a child at the 7.5 year mark. Nice. We’ve also looked into private adoption, but with prices starting at 10K for a domestic adoption, 15 to 20K for an international adoption and 25k for a US adoption, it’s a bit pricey at this point in the game. Here’s hoping everything works out and we don’t have to go that route.

In other news, we’ve decided to put the house sale on hold until the Spring. There are just too many stressful things going on right now. We’ve also discovered we need to redo the roof before selling. Add to that, the costs associated with the IUI (and quite possibly multiple IUIs) and we just aren’t in a position to double our mortgage right now. We’re still going ahead with all the renos, but we aren’t rushing to get it done in the next month. At least we’ll get to enjoy some of the renos we’ve done... right? That’s what I keep telling myself anyway.

Making our home beautiful...

2011-08-25T10:01:00.000-04:00

... for the next owners to enjoy.

That’s right, we’re looking to move in the coming months. We still have a lot of work to do before the house is in selling condition, but we’re hoping to get it all done by the end of September. So far we’ve torn down the old patio and rebuilt a new, larger one. We’ve gutted the bathroom and installed new sub-flooring, new vinyl flooring, new toilet, new vanity and sink and repainted. We still have to install new baseboards, finish a few touch ups and paint the ceiling. I’ll post pictures once it’s 100% complete.

Although we love this house, it’s old and is in constant state of repair. To get the house to the place we would want it to be, would mean remortgaging and it would still leave us with an unfinished (almost, unusable) basement. At this point, we just need to start looking for something new.

Of course, we still have a lot of work ahead of us:
- fix and paint fence
- install new counter top in kitchen
- back splash in kitchen
- sand and paint cupboards
- fix ceiling
- Build closet in mud room
- Install closet doors in bedrooms
- Lots and lots of painting!

... just to name a few! Here’s to a busy 5 weeks!

A little late… but I’m Mrs Perfect now!

2011-06-29T15:27:00.011-04:00

I realise I’m a month late but here is my update! I started writing out a detailed description of the day, but never got around to completing so here is the summarized version:

It was awesome!

Ok... a few more details:
Preparations
- I was super calm all day – all that planning and organising really paid off
- The morning of was spent getting ready with my sisters and mom... and except for a panicking mom, things were awesome. I did have a slight wardrobe malfunction which sent my mom into a tizzy. My sisters couldn’t close my dress... even with the corset back - but it was only a safety pined that had been added by the dry cleaners. Once the pin was removed (about 20 minutes of motherly panic later) everything was perfect. The entire time I was as cool as a cucumber (thank you anti-depressants :-P)

Ceremony
- I loved, loved, loved the ceremony! I mean, I knew I would enjoy it, but I never expected to love every second as much as I did. The entire thing lasted almost 30 minutes (which is awesome for a civil ceremony) and we included personal readings and a ring warming ceremony. I also walked in alone and Pierre met me about ¾ of the way down the aisle. I wanted it to symbolically represent that this was a journey we were taking together.
- I was so overly happy at the ceremony it was completely ridiculous! I was all smiles and giddiness
- I walked in to “At Last” by Etta James. The music started and just when she says Aaaaaaat Laaaaaaast... my nephew and niece opened the doors and there I am in all my glorious beauty. :) It was perfect. Pierre told me I took his breath away when he first saw me.
- At the end we walked out to Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours” and the fun, bouncy music was just perfect for the way I was feeling
- After, we were lucky enough too great our guests as they were coming out since the sun was trying to come out.

Reception
- We had a desert reception with a dozen different decadent cakes and fancy desserts. Everyone loved it!
- We also had a photo booth that Pierre built for the occasion and I think it’s what made the ceremony go from awesome to kick-ass awesome. Hah!
- We didn’t have a traditional first dance, instead, we invited all married couples to join us for our first dance (this was not an easy task-grr). After a few minutes we sat down while the other continued to dance. Every 10 seconds or so, our MCs would ask he couples who have been married less than 5, 10, 15 years, etc to sit down until the oldest married couple was left standing. The couple had been married 54 years! I then gave a bouquet to that couple and one to the runner-up (53 years).
- We didn’t have speeches or a bouquet/garter toss and the atmosphere was more party-like than wedding... which is exactly what we wanted
- The decorator didn’t really do much... especially since I had supplied so much of the stuff myself, but I didn’t care at that point

Overall, I was so happy to see my wacky ideas and DIY projects come together. Throughout the planning I had some eye-rolling from my Mom and could see the question marks forming on peoples’ foreheads when I discussed my ideas (DIY bouquets, decor, hair fascinator, jewelry and photo booth, non-traditional first dance, no speeches, no bouquet/garter toss, dessert reception, no veil, green shoes, peacock feathers in my bouquet and hair). But when it came together – God it was perfect!

Now, the moment you’ve been waiting for – the pictures - and LOTS of them!

Here you can see a preview of our pro pics:
Pro pics!

Here are some non-pro pics. They aren't in any specific order

The "R" on my bouquet is for my father Raymond. He passed-away when I was 17 and that was his hankerchief. The tree is our guest book... people added their thumb prints and signed their name.

We also had an awesome photobooth that Mr Perfect built and here are some of my favorites:

All the pictures printed out like so:

I cropped out the thank yous on these ones:

We realised at the end of the evening that we didn't even have our picture taken in the photobooth together... so we're calling this one our official photobooth picture:

Gooooo-ing to the Chapel and we're gonna get maaa-aaaaa-rried!

2011-05-28T06:22:00.004-04:00

It's 7:25 on the morning of my wedding! Wheeeee! I've been up since 6:00, had my coffee and breakfast and am now ready to get this show on the road! Mr. Perfet just left to go drop off the dogs for their week-long retreat at the doggy spa. I just said goodbye to him and next time I see him it will be at the ceremony! I can't believe the day is finally here!

I think I need an update!

2011-05-23T13:27:00.003-04:00

I've been kinda busy lately and haven't updated in a very long time. It's not that I haven't thought about posting... I even started writing a post a while ago. It started out saying "we're getting married in 42 days...". However, I never got around to finishing it and now we are gettign married in 5 DAYS! EEEK!

So here is a mish mash of updates on a few different subjects:

Changa the Bride... this is a revised post from the 42days to go post which never got posted... I'm so busy I'm just going to use it and update. Hah!
Like I mentioned a few posts ago, the invitations are out (so are the corrections) and the RSVPs are starting to roll in. We’re getting married in 25 days and panic is starting to settle in. Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely no panicking about the actual wedding or the whole till death do us part stuff, it’s the freakin’ organising that gets me panicking. Right now, we’re down to the nitty gritty stuff... the easily forgotten stuff. Ugh. On the menu this week I have a whole slew of possible projects to tackle: meeting with officiant, meeting with photographer, pew markers, vows, program, schedules, linens and hair accessories... which ones shall I work on this week. *sigh*. Thankfully, the bridal shower is over and done with. Ah yes, the bridal shower... the one thing my Mom stressed over as been stressing over for weeks. I didn’t really want a shower, but my Mom insisted. She drove me a bit batty with the whole ordeal because there was “so much to do” (according to her). After all was said and done, it was a nice afternoon and we got spoiled rotten!

Changa the Bride - the update
As I mentioned earlier in the post, we have 5 days until the wedding! Wheeeee! Right now it's all the last minute running around, but I'm sure it's all going to get done. The family has started to arrive and I feel like things are actually moving along. I can't believe I'll be Mrs. Perfect in 5 days!

Changa the Honeymooner
I was finally able to switch up so shifts to get time off for a honeymoon. Wahoo!! We’ve booked a vacation to VEGAS, baby! I can’t wait! We might even get remarried by Elvis. :-P Ok, maybe not, but we could! We leave the day after the wedding and get back home the next Saturday morning.

Changa the Pup Owner
The dogs are also going away on vacation while we head to Vegas. They’ll be heading out to a pretty cool doggy resort. Well, the equivalent of a resort with lots of room to run around and muddle puddles to play in. Speaking of puddles, we have discovered that Bentley loves them... much to our dismay. Here’s a few pics of his adventure to the dog park:

Changa the Graduate

Last Saturday I received the official paper stating I have my Bachelor of Nursing. Yay! I wore the robe, I walked accross the stage, I paused for a photo op and I went home. It was a long boring ceremony, but I wanted to experience it. Now I can officially say I AM DONE! When I walked off stage, Mr. Perfect was standing there with roses (awwwww). Don't swoon just yet, though. My first reaction was, "who got me flowers... those aren't from you?" he quickly admitted they were from my Mom. Hah! I know him too well. :-)

I guess that's it for now - next time I post I will be Mrs Perfect and will hopefully have pictures.

PS: I'm sorry if there are typos... I got gel nails (a concept completely foreign to me) for the wedding and it's hard to type. Hah!

The fantabulous invitations

2011-04-07T16:21:00.002-04:00

I'm so proud of the awesome work I did. Mr Perfect also made some kick-ass labels. :-)

Waiting for Dad

2011-04-07T16:19:00.004-04:00

Almost every day, around 5 pm, Pacha sits by the door and waits for Mr Perfect to come home. I wonder if she does this when I'm not home?

Ummmm.... oops?

2011-04-06T10:13:00.001-04:00

The invitations have been sent out and they look fabulous! We also sent out about 25 invitations to the reception which were simpler and was only one sheet of paper. Well, apparently I abandoned all my proof-reading skills when I left the advertising world for a job as a nurse cause I forgot to include the WEDDING DATE in the reception only invitations!!! The freakin' wedding date! Can you believe it? Looks like I'll be sending out an extra little note.

I forgot to mention... I’m a Nurse!

2011-03-23T16:25:00.002-04:00

I just realised I never posted about my RN exam and my wonderful passing grade! Although, I seriously doubt anyone who follows my blog is unaware of this fact since I’ve been shouting it from the rooftops for weeks now. :-)

In other news, our wedding is 8 weeks away and I am so happy we decided to move our reception from our backyard to an indoor venue. Given the stat of our backyard currently, it was a very wise decision, as evidence by the pictures below:

These days, it’s all wedding talk, all the time. Things are really falling into place, though and we seem to be crossing things off the massive to do list every day. If you know me at all, you won’t be surprised by the fact that we have a website... check it out at pierre-danielle.com.

Work is also going really well and I love what I do every day. Sure, I still come home exhausted and complaining on some days, but I think that’s just part of any career.

I guess that’s it for me, these days. Just thought a quick update was in need.

Bride Knows Best

2011-02-19T10:18:00.002-04:00

Mr Perfect headed out with his Best Man to do some shopping this week to find the perfect tux for the wedding. He quickly found out that not all grooms have the luxury of an opinion. While describing to the saleswoman what he wanted in a tux, she casually mentioned he would need to check with me regarding colours. Mr Perfect reiterated that the decision was all his. The saleswoman laughed at this notion; “your groomsmen need to match with the bridesmaids”, she added. Mr Perfect was adamant: “no matching.” Even his Best Man wasn’t on his side: “I really think you should check with Changa on this one, he insisted”. Mr Perfect came home, thinking he might have dreamt that I was such a forgiving and liberal bride. Well, Mr Perfect was indeed right! No matching with the bridesmaids and yes, he does have the final say on what he wears to his own wedding. Gasp! Can you imagine? A groom actually deciding what he wears to his wedding? Bridezillas around the world are having a collective conniption at the thought!

Of course, it does help that he didn’t have any wild notions of wearing a camo tux or a 1970’s inspired baby blue suit!

As well, I already knew what he wanted was pretty much what I wanted... but that’s beside the point. :-P

Oh the irony

2011-02-15T15:06:00.002-04:00

Since we’ve decided not to have our wedding reception in our backyard, I’ve had to shift my “theme” to fit the venue. When I was working on the backyard idea, my general theme was paper lanterns and fireflies. Well, I’m not sure that really works in the new setting, so I’ve decided to change things up a big. The new theme is peacocks... yeah, I know, it’s a bit weird. It was the only way I knew to tie in the colours I wanted to use: green, blue and brown. The irony is, I hate birds! I mean I HATE them and they scare the bejesus out of me! Oh well, as long as I don’t have any live peacocks at the wedding I should survive!

The other ironic thing is, the reception is now being held at the Local Press Club. The only thing I hate almost as much as birds is the media and now my reception is taking place at their “home”. Hah! Actually, I don’t think journalists really hang out there anymore, so we should be safe.

Updates All Around

2011-02-05T12:00:00.001-04:00

There are lots of updates these days do I figured the best way to tackle them was with a Méli-Mélo post.

Changa and the RN Exam
I wrote my exam on Wednesday. It was brutal and exhausting, but at least it’s done for now. Now I have 6 weeks to wait and wonder. Actually, I’m not stressing about it at all. There is nothing I can do for 6 weeks so I might as well not stress about it until I get the results. If I fail, I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. Besides, I’m fairly certain I scored somewhere between a 40% and an 85%. :-P

Changa and the meds
If you’ve been a regular reader, you’ll know I was diagnosed with depression (dysthemia) 15 years ago. I’ve been on my current meds for 7 years. Wow! That’s a long time. Anyway, my doctor has decided to switch my medication since there is no evidence that the ones I currently take wouldn’t have an effect on a baby should I become pregnant in the future. *Sigh* It is quite scary to think I’m going to be switching my medication at a time when I’m experiencing a high level of stress. It’ll take months to complete the switch since I have to taper two different meds, one at a time and then slowly integrate the new med. I could put off the switch until my job is more stable, but why delay the inevitable. I’m also going to do acupuncture in the hopes that it will balance out the bad effects of the transfer. Wish me luck cause I know I’ll need it!

Changa and the new job
I’ve completed my two weeks of orientation and Monday I start working on the unit. It’s scary and exciting! I still can’t believe it’s actually here. I think it’s going to take some time getting used to the idea that I’m a nurse. Wow.

Changa and the Wedding
We’ve decided to forgo the beautiful backyard reception I had dreamt about for a more practical option. I was quite disappointed in the beginning, but I’m starting to warm up to the idea and the wheel of creativity is churning! The backyard reception would have been wonderful, but the logistics of organising said reception plus a backup reception was getting to be too much. I would be essentially planning too receptions with the guarantee that one of them would not happen. We had tough of renting a tent, but if it rains the entire month of May, no tent will help with the marshland that our backyard will become! So, I think we’ve settled on the local press club. It doesn’t have the wedding-y feel I was hoping to avoid and is different enough from your typical hall or hotel ballroom to make me happy. It also means trimming the guest list will not be as stressful. We’re also meeting our potential officiant next week and we have a general direction for the bridesmaid dresses. Yay!

I think that’s it for now. :-)

Why am I cleaning out my purse?

2011-01-26T11:52:00.004-04:00

I’m pretty sure I was studying, but now I just finished cleaning my purse... how the heck did that happen? Let’s see...

Step 1: Studying
Step 2: Reviewing info on liver function and liver diseases
Step 3: Reading that there are 5 different types of Hepatitis (Hepatitises?). I had forgotten there were so many varieties
Step 4: Wondering which Hepatitis immunization I have
Step 5: Checking my immunization record which is in my wallet
Step 6: Realising my wallet is a mess
Step 7: Going through the papers and reorganising my various cards
Step 8: Incessant need to blog about it

Seriously Changa; FOCUS!

At least I got in a good two hours this morning before the cleaning incident. It’s time for my lunch break anyway.

Stress is exhausting

2011-01-23T12:35:00.002-04:00

This is the conclusion I’ve come to this morning. I’m exhausted... and I think it’s because I’m stressed. Yesterday I spent a better part of the day studying and last night I think I could have gone to bed at 7:00 pm. It’s not the studying that’s so awful, it’s the pressure of passing this damn CRNE (Canadian Registered Nurse Exam). It’s just an exam… upon which my salary, my time, my future and quite possibly my sanity depend on. Sure, if I don’t pass I always have two more chances to take the exam… only the next round is the first week of June... a few days after I’m getting married! Ugh. I don’t think I can take another 4 months of studying! :-( Also, when I get stressed about an exam, I tend to avoid the books. I realize this is the ridiculous strategy in the world, but the more stressed I get, the less I want to study. The less I want to study, the more stressed I get. It’s one big vicious circle.

Add to the exam, the stress of organizing a wedding. Actually, the organizing part isn’t as stressful as the nagging mother. I’m trying not to think of the things that need to be done, but my mother sure is! Friday she insisted we go see bridesmaid dresses after I told her repeatedly that my bridesmaids won’t be wearing typical bridesmaid dresses, but I finally gave up. Sure, there were some nice dresses, but not what I was looking for… and certainly not the budget I had intended. When she asked the salesman how long it took to order a dress, he said 4 to 5 months (the wedding is in 4 months). My mom laughed and sighed heavily. I know that nervous laugh of hers… it’s intended to say: my poor disorganized daughter has left everything to the last minute. I shot her a look that could have set fire to her eyeballs and I’m pretty sure she felt the burn. It wasn’t my intention to do so, but I do not need the pressure she is putting on me. I don’t think she has any idea how big this exam is! You would think she could shut up about the wedding for another 10 days, right?

I just hope the stress diminishes after this exam… but I get the feeling it isn’t. They say your first year of nursing is one of the most stressful experiences someone can have. Great. At least I’ll be getting paid, right? Sure! But I don’t get a full paycheck until March… and I have to start dishing out scary amounts of money to pay back student loans… and then there’s this wedding thing we have to pay for and I think I’m hyperventilating again! Ugh

I thought writing out my stresses in my blog would be cathartic, but it’s stressing me out even more just thinking about it all. I need to go study now… or cry… I’m still not sure which to do first.

Falling Down Blue... or Yellow

2011-01-09T21:46:00.003-04:00

Mr. Bentley has had quite an adventure last night. Unfortunately (fortunately?)I wasn’t privy to the ordeal, but Mr. Perfect gave me all the details. It all started after we went to bed. Bentley had gone outside as he always does around 10:00 and we went to bed around 11:00. He started crying not to long after we headed upstairs. He doesn’t cry anymore except in the morning when he has to go. It was odd that he was crying, but Mr. Perfect was watching TV and we figured he could hear it and wanted to be with us. When the crying didn’t stop after the TV was off, Mr. Perfect went downstairs to investigate. I quickly fell asleep as soon as the whining had stopped.

The next morning I headed downstairs around 5:30 to let the dogs out. When I arrived in the kitchen, all the chairs where at the opposite end of the kitchen and everything that was on the kitchen table had been moved. After bringing the dogs back in and heading back to bed, I just had to ask: What the hell happened last night?!

Turns out our dear Bentley had peed in the kitchen. But it wasn’t a little puddle... it stretched from one end of the kitchen to the other! Since our freakin’ house is crooked, it definitely emphasised the spread of the pool. At first, Mr P. (er, Mr. Perfect) couldn’t see the extent of the puddle, but as he made his way through the kitchen he saw it went on and on. Of course, Bentley followed him as he walked right through the puddle. I’m actually surprised I wasn’t awakened by Mr. P’s swearing at this point. Hah! Of course, Mr. P tried to get him to not walk in the puddle, but as he did, Bentley lost his balance on the slippery floor and splat right in the pond! Now, I must add, that Bentley slips and falls every other day and it’s a big ordeal each time because he has lots of trouble getting back up... think Bambi on the ice pond:

It’s actually quite the sad sight. So at this point, not only has he fallen in the pee, he’s flailing about trying to get up, creating a splatter on the walls and on Mr. Perfect. Hah! At this point in the story I’m laughing so hard I can barely breathe! Mr. P helps Bentley straighten up and he immediately runs to his bed, spreading the mess even further. So, around midnight last night, Mr. P. ended up washing the entire first floor... and this morning Bentley got his first bath. :-)

Nurse Changa, thank you very much

2010-12-19T11:19:00.003-04:00

It's offical - I'm a graduate nurse! I finished writing my final exam this morning and unless there is some sort of unforseen disaster, I am all done my BSc Nursing!

I can't believe it's done! 3 and a half years went by really fast... although it didn't always feel like it was going by all that fast some days. I'm so proud of myself... now pass me a beer!

This week’s Méli-Mélo

2010-12-01T14:06:00.001-04:00

Bentley the Kleptomaniac
It would appear we have a sneaky kleptomaniac on our hands. Bentley likes to collect things and hide them in his crate. We’re crate training right now so unless we have all our attention on him, in the crate he goes. This way, if we catch him doing something he isn’t suppose to do, we can correct him immediately. He’ll be in the crate for a month or two until he learns the rules of the house. For the most part, we’re pretty good at keeping an eye on him, but once in a while we’ll slack off, i.e., I’m just going to run upstairs to pee, he’ll be fine for a minute or, I forgot something in the basement, I’ll be right back. And that’s when the klepto strikes! His favourite steal is Mr Perfect’s slippers. Other things he’s stolen? A box of Kleenex, a dish towel, plastic cups, one of my slippers and a plastic cover for a juice container. The thing is, he never even attempts these things when we’re around. Silly dog.

Bentley the sleeper
We’ve had our big guy for a little over a week now and going to bed is now under control. He no longer cries when we go to bed – success. He does, however, cry bloody murder from 6 am until we get up. *sigh* So far we’ve been ignoring him and hoping this will eventually stop. He’s such a lazy little bugger too! It amazes me that a dog that can run 45 miles/hour can be so lazy! After our evening walk with the dogs, then are both done for the night. It’s hard to get either one up for the last pee of the night! Hah!

Pacha the little big sister
It would seem to Pacha that Bentley has always been around. It’s like she doesn’t realise that he’s new! They both get along great and Pacha is usually the one who initiates play when we are outside. It’s wonderful to see our little girl playing because it’s not something she does very often. She also seems to like Bentley’s crate. The other day I was getting Bentley ready to go to the vet and Pacha came up when she realised I had taken Bentley’s leach out. She knows they always go for walks together and she got excited for the potential outing. I told her no, only Bentley was going to the vet. If she knew the word vet, I know she would be happy she wasn’t going. I finish getting Bentley ready and turn around looking for Pacha. Where was she? In Bentley’s crate. She was like: “the big guy is going out? Woohoo! I get the big bed!” Tee Hee! Another thing she does which makes me laugh, is she’s always walking under him... like it’s perfectly normal for her to do so. If he’s in her way she won’t walk around him, she’ll just stroll under him. Hah!

Preceptorship – 66% done!
I can’t believe I’m two thirds of the way through my preceptorship! Holy crap! I’m almost a nurse! The preceptorship is going really well and the staff is even trying to convince the nurse manager to hire me... even though there is a hiring freeze. It feels great to be wanted. :-) Pediatrics is really my world.

My future – I signed on the dotted line
It’s official! I have a job in January. I finally signed with Hospital F last week and I was assigned to the pediatric department! I am so happy! Even though my preceptorship is with Hospital E, I’m really happy to have signed with Hospital F. For the time being, I think it’s a better fit for my personality.

I think that’s it for now!

Pictures in spades!

2010-11-21T09:53:00.010-04:00

Yesterday we brought home our new puppy... well, he's a bit big for a puppy! We finally got our Greyhound and Hami was the one chosen for us. This morning we decided on his new name: Bentley... I just hope my Grampy of the same name doesn't roll over in his grave! :-S So far his introduction into our home has been absolutely wonderful! It's been BEYOND our expectations, in fact. Pacha is completely in love with him (and vice-vera) and she is reacting like she's known him all her life. Last night they played together in the snow and I've rarely seen Pacha so excited. It was quite hillarious to see Little Miss Pacha trying to catch super speedy Bentley! Hah!

We also had an interesting adventure bringning him home in the pick-up truck! Tee Hee! He's a bit big for the cab and we were all crunched it when he thought it was a great time to fart! Phew! What a stinker!

Here’s our big boy (with Pacha underneath him!!)

Bentley likes Pacha’s bed...

... while Pacha checks out Bentley’s digs

They finally decide the crate is the best place to hang out. :-)

My favourite picture so far!

In other news, we finally got a preview of our engagement pictures. Enjoy!

...

Preceptorship – Day 1

2010-11-18T11:00:00.004-04:00

I just wanted to give a quick update on my first day of preceptorship. I had a great day and the staff seems really nice. The floor was quite calm so it was a good way to ease into it. I was glad I didn’t feel all that lost since it’s a different hospital than I’m used to. Tonight I do my first night, so we’ll see how I survive. Wish me luck!

We also put up the new pup to be’s crate. Here’s an interesting comparison between Pacha’s bed and the new guy’s crate!

EEK! It's huge! At least it's just temporary, until he gets used to his environment. In this picture you can see that even though Pacha's bed looks small compared to the giant crate, it's still twice as big as she is!

In-Home Interview

2010-11-16T10:56:00.003-04:00

We had our interview with MGAP last night and it went very well. The evaluator came over with her 2.5 year old Grey named Romero. He’s a beautiful big brindle boy and such a sweetie. I was really happy to see Pacha react quite positively to him. In fact, she even tried to play with him a bit. His owner had him on a leash so he wouldn’t wander around the house, but if it weren’t for the leash I think the dogs would have played together. After they left, Pacha was all excited and hyper, which was awesome to see! We’re really hoping a second dog will teach our lazy pupster how to play. :-)

The meeting lasted about an hour and she was able to answer many of our questions. Romero was funny and clumsy as many Greys are. It’s like they don’t realise they have these long awkward legs. Tee Hee! Anyway, there are currently 5 dogs in foster care and 7 more are coming up from the track this Saturday so there will definitely be a dog for us.

I was also really happy to see that Mr. Perfect was ready to keep Romero if they had let us. Hah! He is definitely on board with getting a second dog and likes the Greyhounds, but I know I’m definitely the bigger Greyhound fan. I sometimes worry, that I might have swayed him. I tell him this all the time and then add... I know, I have issues. To which he nods in agreement. :-)

We may be proud owners of a Greyhound this week!

2010-11-15T12:17:00.003-04:00

As I mentioned in the previous post, we’ve applied to adopt a Greyhound through a rescue organisation (Maritime Greyhound Adoption Program). We have our in-home interview this evening and an orientation session this weekend. We might even be taking our new dog home this Saturday! Wow! It’s quite the process and the dogs are actually matched up to our family and particular needs. The president of the organisation is a dog behaviour psychologist and she’s the one who chooses the best dog for each situation. She is currently considering two dogs for us:

Race name: Regal Tumbler
Age: 2 years old in June
Sex: Male
Weight: 78 lbs
This handsome white and black boy with the very cool ears, is very laid back and calm and tested as cat tolerant. Friendly, happy tail wagging, and has a loving personality. Plays well with other dogs and people; energetic but not hyper at all. Likes cuddling, grooming, crate trained, and has good leash walking skills. A really wonderful boy that anyone would be thrilled to have.

Or

Race name: Hami
Age: Turning 3 in November
Sex: Male
Weight: 70 lbs
Beautiful white and dark brindle boy. He is good with cats and small dogs and will probably be great with children too. He is outgoing, very friendly and doesn't mind a busy home. He will fit in most anywhere and make an excellent walking companion.

Hami is a regular rescue, while Tubbler is from a prison training program. The Prison program dogs are trained in basic obedience for 10 weeks by inmates in a Florida State Prison. All the prison trained dogs learn verbal commands and hand signals for sit, stay, down, come and heel. This is such an exciting program and a win/win situation for both the prisoners and the greyhounds. For example it puts greyhounds in a place until they can find homes, it teaches Inmates patience and responsibility, it relieves inmate idleness in prison facilities, and it allows Inmates to give something back to the community, just to name a few. Click on the link Give a Second Chance to check out a video that definitely pulls at the heart strings.

Good Ol' Kijiji

2010-11-13T10:08:00.006-04:00

We’ve been checking kijiji regularly for potential dogs to adopt. So far no luck, but some of these ads are freakin’ hilarious! I wonder what's worse: dating profiles or dog ads?

"3 year old beagle spayed and neutered"
Wow! A hermaphrodite beagle!

"Looking for a purebred lapdog"
I’m not familiar with that particular breed

"Looking for a puppy for my son for Christmas. Must be either a Boxer or a Maltese"
Ummmm... you do realise those two dogs are complete opposites, right?

"Looking for small puppy. Must be well behaved. Will return if not."
Sure... dogs don’t require any work so this should definitely work out!

"Pitbull for stud garante 10 puppys unless someting wrong with your dog"
That’s some dog! He can predict how many pups he will produce. Very impressive!

"Puppies for sale. Mom is a maltese and another breed weighs 6 lbs dad is a shi tzu chihuahua max weighs 10 lbs. Asling $650"
Ummm... you do realise you are charging $650 for a mutt... right?

And my favourite:
"Looking to trade one of my Bull Mastif puppies for an SUV."

I get the feeling Kijiji won't be the place we'll find our dog.

Earlier this week we applied for a retired Greyhound race dog from a Greyhound rescue organisation. I can't wait till they contact us. How can you not love this adorable face!

Pacha pulled the veto card on Marshall

2010-11-10T09:16:00.001-04:00

We brought Pacha to meet Marshall last night. The meeting went well, but it just wasn’t the vibe we were hoping for. Pacha seemed almost fearful of Marshall and she cowered between my legs. I have never seen her react to another dog that way before. Marshall was definitely more interested in Pacha than she was in him. He tried playing with her and after a while she played back, but he’s such a hefty guy that he ended up playing pretty rough with her.

Mr Perfect was really great with Marshall and he definitely had the dogs respect. I on the other hand, found it a little more challenging. Obviously, my energy wasn’t as assertive as Mr. Perfect’s. Marshall would jump up at me and snap while trying to play. I tried correcting him, but was only partially successful. I’m sure I would get the hang of it fairly quickly, but my concern would be his reaction to kids. I'd also worry about how rough his playing could get with Pacha when we aren't home. So, between Pacha’s reaction and Marshall’s snipping, we decided he wasn’t right for us.

It’s a bit disappointing but I know we made the right decision. He would really be an awesome dog for people not planning to have children or even just school age children.

Mr Perfect’s dog

2010-11-09T10:10:00.001-04:00

Since visiting the SPCA last week we’ve been talking about the pros and cons of adding another dog to our family. For some strange reason, Mr. Perfect thought I was against getting a second dog, while I always assumed we would eventually get one. After clearing up this little matter, we agreed that adopting might be worth exploring. I had always thought we would get a second dog after our first kid (since we could see how Pacha reacts to the babe), but is post-partum really the best time to be training a dog? WE realised that this might actually be a good time to introduce a new dog. Mr Perfect would love a Boxer. I, on the other hand have a penchant for Greyhounds. When it comes down to it though, Boxers are a more manageable size than greyhounds.

Over the weekend we set some ground rules: we will not be swayed by a cute face, chemistry and energy has to work with our family, no rash decisions, Pacha’s reaction to a new dog is an essential element in our choice and any dog has to pass my allergy test.

Last night we headed back to the SPCA to see if “Marshall” was still there. When we did our initial sweep of the premise he appeared to be gone. Mr. Perfect was clearly crushed. :-( Then we found out he had already been transferred inside for the night. Yay! We asked to take him out for a walk. We did our best Ceasar Millan imitation and stayed calm and assertive. Marshall seemed to react well to our assertiveness. We waited for him to calm down before heading out for a walk. He wasn’t really that agitated, but you could see by his breathing he was curious/excited. He pulled a little during the first part of the walk, but within 5 minutes (even less) he was calm and walking in a perfect heal position. At the halfway point we made him sit and traded the leach. I had the lead now and I can honestly say it was like walking Pacha – I barely noticed he was there. I corrected him a few times, but that was really only when I noticed he wasn’t perfectly calm... it’s like I stopped his excitement before it escalated and he started pulling. When we gave him back to the SPCA employee, he was noticeably more excited, but you could tell her energy was different too. Where Pacha is calm 100% of the time, Marshall takes his cues from his leader. He’s definitely different than Pacha, but that’s also what we are looking for. I love Pacha more than anything, but she is also one lazy puppy. Hah! It would be nice to have a dog that can play fetch, go for a run and keep up with us on a hike. In that sense, Pacha is like a cat, except that she’s fun. :-P

He also passed the allergy test with flying colours! I rubbed my hands all over his coat and litterly stuck my fingers in my eyeballs! I rubbed my eyes as much as I could and has NO reaction. This is awesome news because I sometimes irritate my eyes just by rubbing them, so this means I'm definitely not allergic to him.

So now we wait for the SPCA to approve our application. We also decided that, since we are going away this weekend, we wouldn’t bring a dog home until Sunday. It’s just not fair to the dog to bring him home for 2 days and then drop him off at a kennel for two days. The SPCA won’t put a dog on hold, so we are leaving it in fates hands – if he’s still there on Sunday, then he’s our dog... if he’s not, we’ll just keep searching. The only problem is, Mr Perfect has already adopted him in his heart. :-)

The lure of a cute face

2010-11-06T12:46:00.001-04:00

You know the scenario: you just happen to check out the SPCA website and happen to see a dog from a bred you would like and accidently end up at the SPCA on a rainy day staring on an adorable face the other side of a cage. No. We haven’t adopted another dog, but we sure are tempted. Mr Perfect’s always said he would love a second dog and has a particular soft spot for Boxers. I too would love another dog but sometimes I worry a second pet would create unbalance in our perfectly sweet and calm pupster Pacha. As well, there’s the kid factor. Right now, we’re fairly certain Pacha would adjust easily to a new crying babe, but any other dog is an unknown case. We resisted the urge to bring this beautiful 2-year old Boxer named Marshall for a walk, but then sat in the car debating on what to do. We finally agreed to come back when it’s not raining to bring the guy out for a stroll. We figure it should give us a few days to mull over the idea of a second pup. Either way, we would have to introduce him to Pacha to make sure the chemistry is right. Anyway, here's a picture of the big guy:

Before and After

2010-10-31T12:02:00.007-04:00

The front porch is finally completed!

Here is the progression of the work

Here are some additional pictures of the process

Mr Perferct working. Our bizzare neighbour spent most days watching Mr. Perfect work.

Pacha inspecting the workmanship

I'm so happy!

So much for leverage or decisions

2010-10-28T13:05:00.002-04:00

** Note: I’ve changed the name of Hospital A to Hospital F and Hospital B to Hospital E. If you’re a local you’ll understand why and it will hopefully be less confusing.

I just talked to the nursing director at Hospital E and they have no full-time permanent positions to offer. They do have positions in ICU but they don't hire new grads (but I'm not interested in ICU anyway). I'm frustrated and sad that I don't have more options. I mean, Hospital F’s offer looks promising, but I was really hoping I would have options AND leverage when I graduated. I DO have lots of options... just not in my city. I'm also especially frustrated because I'm doing my preceptorship at Hospital E, with no apparent chance of a job there. Had I known I didn't have that option I would have chosen the Hospital F for my preceptorship. It means doing a month at the Hospital E, learning the ins and outs of the department and then having to start all over again when I start at Hospital F in January.

She said she could meet with me near the end of November and when I told her I already had an offer from Hospital F so I would like to meet earlier, she said I should take the offer from Hospital F because she wouldn't be able to make me an offer anyway. How is this even possible in the midst of a national nursing shortage?! Is it silly that I'm so upset over this?

For the last few months our professors keep telling us: choose wisely because your first year is crucial. Choose a hospital that offers lots of support for new grads and Hospital E has a better reputation in this department than Hospital F. Now it seems it’s not even a choice.

I’m being over dramatic, right?

Decisions, decisions.

2010-10-26T10:19:00.007-04:00

I’m getting really annoyed with Hospital E and their complete lack of wooing. Humph. We’ve been wooed by local Hospital F, two other hospitals in the province, one in Ontario and one in Quebec. Seriously, Hospital E really isn’t in the game this year. In fact, it seems impossible to even get a meeting with someone. Unless I’ve been blacklisted, I really don’t know what’s up with them.

I met with Hospital F this morning and a job offer is on its way. I was honest with them and stated I would be considering both local hospitals and they respected my decision. However, they do need an answer from me by November 15th. From now until then I’m hoping to get a meeting with Hospital E so I can at least have something to compare. The most frustrating part is, I’m doing my preceptorship at Hospital E because I wanted to be able to compare both paediatric departments (I’ve worked several times in Hospital F’s peds unit) before choosing where I wanted to start my career. However, I need to make a choice by November 15th and my preceptorship only starts on November 17th. Blarg.

I got peds!

2010-10-22T05:48:00.005-04:00

I got the preceptorship I wanted in paediatrics! YAY! I’ll be doing my preceptorship ay Hospital E and I start in a few weeks. My preceptorship is the final stage in my bachelor program – once I’m done I’ll be a nurse. WOW! The difference between a preceptorship and a clinical practicum is essentially the one-on-one work. In a practicum you have a teacher and are in a group of 5 to 7 students and usually have up to 4 patients. In a preceptorship it’s just you and a nurse. The first few shifts you work together while she shows you the ropes. Once she feels you’re ready she gives you the full patient workload (usually 6 to 8 patients) and steps back to just observe. It’s like being a real nurse but with a safety net.

I’m so happy I got my first choice! My second choice was in neuro but it wasn’t so much because of my interest in the field, but because it’s a unit I feel comfortable in and it would have given me some great learning opportunities.

I also have a formal interview with Hospital F on Tuesday so I’m looking forward to the continued wooing from them. Hopefully now that I have my perceptorship at hospital E they’ll get on the wooing train too.

Let the wooing begin!

2010-10-06T18:45:00.006-04:00

I just got back from my first informal meeting with one of the hospitals regarding jobs once I graduate. You know it’s going to be good when the first thing they say is, “it’s not a question of whether or not we choose you-It’s whether you choose us" and "what can we do as an employer to convince you we're the best choice". Sweet!

Now that I’ve seen what Hospital F has to offer, let’s see what Hospital E can do for me. :-) So far Hospital F is looking pretty good... if they could throw in a signing bonus I think I would be sold. It’s surprising though, because I was sure it was going to be Hospital E who would win me over. All I can say is they better start wooing soon or they might lose me.

Mama Pacha, aka Pacha La Sagouine

2010-09-30T12:08:00.004-04:00

Just me annoying my puppy. :-)

I don't know, but I see a certain resemblance to La Sagouine

How much do I love my future husband?!

2010-09-26T09:53:00.005-04:00

Yesterday I left at 6:00 am for a 12 hour shift at a local senior citizens home as part of yet another clinical rotation. When I left, my house looked like this:

When I came home my house looked like this:

I was so excited to see my soon to be new porch! Mr Perfect worked so hard all day!

Hopefully soon it will look something like this:

I know it’s some really bad photo-chopping and it’s actually going to be pressure treated wood and not white, but you get the idea. I can’t wait to see the final product!

It’s Crunch Time!

2010-09-11T11:09:00.002-04:00

This week it was back to school and I realised just how accelerated the accelerated program really is! Essentially, I have 60 days to finish up the bulk of my semester. WOW! That means 6 weeks of concentrated classroom time (one week for mid-session break), 4 exams and 4 major research projects in the next 60 days! Once those 60 days are done, all I have left is my perceptorhip which is 12 shifts, one-on-one with a nurse. The wonderful thing about the perceptorship is no homework, no exam, no projects! It’s just 12 shifts of normal work and I’m done!

This semester is going to be a whirlwind!

One Last Time

2010-08-23T12:08:00.001-04:00

I realise I’m much more excited than I should be, but this morning I registered for Fall classes and I realised it’s the last time I’ll be registering for classes FOREVER! I won’t have to fight with the stupid computer program that always blocks my registration because it thinks I don’t have all the required classes. I’ll be paying my tuition for the last time.... I’ll be waiting in line for hours for my student for the last time... I’ll be buying school supplies for myself for the last time. It’s all so exciting!

I said “Yes to the Dress” and other updates

2010-08-21T12:44:00.000-04:00

I bought my wedding dress yesterday! Just like when I met Mr. Perfect, I knew instantly it was the one. Awww, how corny am I? It’s a second-hand find which makes it even more “me”. Hah! Now it feels like it’s all very real. :-) Unfortunately, you won’t get a sneak peak at the dress since my husband-to-be happens to be an avid reader. I guess you’ll just have to wait another 9 months.

5 shifts to go – the countdown begins.
I’m almost done my LAST clinical rotation. I can’t believe the end is almost here! Once September hits, I’ll only have 5 classes left, plus my preceptorship and then I’ll be a real nurse. Crazy how time flies, huh? My current rotation is in critical care. For the most part it’s like any other rotation with the exception of a killer exam and a few shifts in the ER and in ICU. My teacher is the evil nurse who made me cry my first semester in nursing. So far though, I seem to have gained her respect and haven’t been yelled at. I’m keeping my fingers crossed! I also hate to admit it, but I'm actually learning a lot from her.

Save the date... or maybe not

2010-08-15T10:11:00.002-04:00

We had chosen a date, a ceremony location and a reception venue... but that seems to have gone out the window. A few days ago we had chosen August 20, 2011 with the ceremony at the Free Meeting House (local historic house) and a reception at home. I was all set to reserve the ceremony venue.... but then we started thinking. Damn brain. August is awfully far away and we have plans for a family ASAP, so we began evaluating the possibility of a May wedding. We had chosen August because the odds of nice weather seem to be better. However, after checking the weather for a variety of dates for the last 10 years, even August isn’t a safe bet. In fact, it has rained as many times on August 20th over the years as it has on many dates in May. When it comes to weather, there’s just no planning! So as of this morning, we have chosen May 28, 2011 as our new wedding date. We would have liked May 21st, but I forgot there’s the little matter of my graduation ceremony. OOPS.

Mrs Perfect? I like the sound of that!

2010-07-26T06:08:00.005-04:00

That’s right; Mr Perfect popped the question last night.

So how did he do it? Well, the short version is, I went to the washroom and when I opened the door to come out, he was down on one knee with the open box. Hah! I think he said, will you marry me and I said ABSOLUTELY!

Here’s the longer version of the story. We spent the day working outside in the sun; me in the garden, him on his car. By the time supper rolled around we were both exhausted from the day so we decided to go out for supper. There was a multicultural festival downtown so we thought we would head there for some international cuisine. The options weren’t much so we ended up at a pub. Well, the beer was damn good last night and we both had two. After we paid the bill and were almost ready to leave, Mr. Perfect said, you know, I would totally have another beer. Too bad we have the car, I added. He said, screw the car, we can come pick it up tomorrow morning – so we had another beer... and another... and another... and a pitcher of beer. It was completely spontaneous and fun! At one point he asked me, if we were to get married, when would it be? From there, we talked a lot about our “hypothetical” wedding. By the time we finished our last beer and literally stumbled home (we walked), we were giggling and giddy. Most of the way home I was complaining I had to pee so as soon as we got home I ran upstairs to the washroom and when I came out, there he was. I kept saying, but what about your plan? He said this was better than his plan and totally felt right.

He was planning on proposing later on this week. His plan had been to put rose petals and candles from front door to our bedroom. There, I would have found a letter telling me how much he loved me and at the end of the letter it would have said "turn around, and he would have bee there. The half-drunken bathroom proposal was even better and so us.

Here are a few pictures of my absolutely gorgeous ring! It’s white gold with a center diamond and 8 sapphires on each side. It also has some gorgeous detailing on the sides. The big day will be next year - later summer/early fall. :-D

We shared the news with family and friends yesterday (and half the Internet, of course). Everyone is overjoyed for us. If we're facebook friends, please don't mention anything just yet. Mr. Perfect's brother is coming home on Friday and we want to share the news in person.

Dude – Chill! You’re Stressing me Out!

2010-07-10T11:52:00.001-04:00

I’ve been working at the hospital as a student nurse for over a month now and so far it’s been fairly good. I’m still finding it very difficult to change departments almost every shift, but it’s getting better. It’s great that I’ve been getting more comfortable with the environment and my role as a nurse. Hopefully it will pay off during my next clinical work that starts in a few weeks.

My big issue with working at the hospital is realising just how stressed out everyone is! It almost doesn’t matter what floor you are working on, they are always short-staffed and over worked. Last week, while working on the maternity ward, all the nurses had worked double shifts in the last few weeks... that means working 24 hours straight. 8-0 Working a double every couple of weeks appears to be the norm for most of the hospital. It’s freakin’ scary. Yesterday, while working in paediatrics, one girl started to cry because she was over-worked. The horror stories just keep coming. Ugh. It’s been stressing me out but I’ve been too afraid to mention it because people might say: “I told you so” or “You can’t freak out now... you haven’t even started!” I didn’t sleep much last night or the night before because all of this has been on my mind... this morning it caught up to me in the form of a migraine. Even though I tried my best to push through it (medicated, showered, etc.) I just couldn’t and ended up calling in sick. It has me a little freaked because I’m not even two month into it and already calling in sick?! Gah!

Anyway, there’s not much point to this post other than needing to get this out.

Sowing the Seeds of Love

2010-07-03T10:54:00.012-04:00

I’ve had the Tears for Fears song, Sowing the Seeds of Love (gotta love the 80s), in my head the entire morning as I weeded and worked in my garden. The vegetable garden is coming along nicely even though we’ve had to replant our beans. Today we planted extra seeds where the initial ones hadn’t taken.

Here are a few pictures of our crops

I also worked in my flower garden and have some new flowers to share.

I have no idea what these flowers are, but they are pretty funky!

I’m really excited about the plants I started all on my own this year because you can really see the progress in the last month.

As you can see there is a significant difference from my previous post.

Finally, here's a pic of my purrrrty unknown flowers in a vase

I think I'm officially a gardener. :-)

Turning Over a New Leaf

2010-06-13T19:08:00.006-04:00

For most of my life, I’ve been known as a plant killer. Black thumb does not even begin to describe my evil appendages. Well, that was until now... or so I’m really hoping.

The former homeowners of my house were avid gardeners and since buying the place three years ago I’ve pretty much been of the “live and let live” state of mind. This year, I decided to tackle the weeds and hope to salvage at least a few plants. I started weeding in the early spring and did my best not to pull out the potential flowers. So far, it looks like it has paid off. The spring started off with some gorgeous pink phlox (the picture doesn’t do them justice as it was taken when they weren't as full).

In May I was inspired by Mr. Perfect's Mom to try my hand at my own gardening. Armed with a book she lent me, I started planning out a flower bed that was all my doing. I realise it’s small, but my book says it’s better to space out your plants in the beginning. :-)

Here's a picture I took right after I finished planting them. It's hard to tell from the small image but I identified them in the picture: Purple Cornflowers, Hosta, Dianthus, Artemisia and another Hosta

A slightly nicer shot

These days I’m delighted to report a myriad of interesting flowers have appeared around the house including:

Wild Roses

Yellow Irises

Some kind of small yellow flowers on a green shrub

Cute little purple flowers

AND, I’m still not done! This weekend, Mr. Perfect and I planted a vegetable garden! I would never have attempted this without the careful direction of Mr. Perfect. He grew up always having a garden and has even had a few himself. We started yesterday by cutting out the grass and turning the soil. Mr. Perfect’s parents even dropped by to give us a few pointers and test the soil’s pH level. Once we were done our hard labour, we parked ourselves in front of the soon to be garden and enjoyed a few beers while admiring our pile of dirt. :-) Today, Mr. Perfect tiled the soil (with a mechanical tiller so it was a one-man job), then we formed rows and planted our seeds. Well, we started planting... that’s when a torrential rain storm started. We tried to keep going, but we could barely see anything and our hands were so muddy you couldn’t pick up the seeds. We tried waiting it out in the shed (very romantic, might I add), but then decided it was best to let it dry before continuing. After supper we picked-up were we left off. Here is the final product:

You might not be able to read the names, but we planted: yellow and green beans, onions, peas, tomatoes, lettuce, carrots, green peppers, cucumbers, corn and spinach!

Screw Optimal Trajectory!

2010-05-08T09:39:00.000-04:00

Who cares if the universe is telling me not to do the accelerated program (see previous post) – cause I’ve been accepted into the program and will now be graduating in December! Wahoo! In 7 months I’m going to be a real nurse. EEK!

I’m really excited and hoping the universe will not try to screw with me again. :-)

Optimal Trajectory

2010-04-26T11:18:00.001-04:00

I heard the term Optimal Trajectory while watching the movie Men who Stare at Goats the other day. I can't say that the movie is awe inspiring or life altering, but those words struck a chord with me. The idea behind Optimal Trajectory is that for every person, given his/her beginning circumstances and innate ability, there exists an ideal path for that person's life. In other words, life is like a river, if you choose your optimal trajectory, you flow with the current and reach your goal smoothly. If you decide to go against your optimal trajectory, you’re constantly fighting the current.

The phrase didn’t stick with me because of some big life path, but rather one small element of my life: the accelerated degree. Yes; I’m still talking about it. Even though I haven’t been accepted into the program, it feels like it just won’t go away. Ever since I decided I wanted to do the accelerated program almost two years ago, I’ve been coming up against road block after road block. First it was courses that weren’t going to be credited, then it was a scheduling issue with my statistics class, then it was a rearranging of my clinical rotation and now this mishap with my GPA. It would appear that the universe is telling me this is NOT my optimal trajectory, right? Then why can’t I close that damn book and move on?

I’m still waiting on an administrative decision to recalculate my GPA so I can actually fight for my right to be in the program, but they are so slow. It’s been almost two weeks since my initial meeting with my director. I’ve called four times and still nothing. Even if I get my GPA corrected, there is still lots of fighting to do. Is it really worth it? For some reason, I can’t fight the feeling that I’m going to get into the program. With every roadblock and every bump in the road, I’ve always had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that it would all work out. Maybe if I didn’t have that feeling I could just stop fighting and accept this new reality but I just can’t shake it.

I already know that if I don’t get in, I’m going to have this nagging feeling until mid-July which is when the program is set to begin. From now until that day, there is still hope... which means I won’t be able to move on until then.

My Little Pony.

2010-04-18T11:00:00.004-04:00

Well, not exactly MY Little Pony... more like, HIS Little Pony. Mr. Perfect bought himself a toy... err... a car last week: a Mustang. Oh Wait! It’s a ‘96 Mustang SVT Cobra – I think you’re suppose to say the whole thing when referring to it. For those not in the know (like me), a Mustang is also referred to as a Pony. I can’t say I’m a fan of it, but it makes him so happy and giddy that I can’t help but smile when I see it. Much to my embarrassment, it rumbles loudly and makes an awful stink, but I guess that’s the price of love.

He had been looking for one for a while now, but I believe he had a preference for one from the 80s. Having seen the look of the 80-something Mustangs, I can assure you I’m ecstatic he went with a 90-something car. He told me he loved the ones from the 80s because that’s the car he worshiped as a kid. I told him after he chose the one he bought that I’m happy not to have a car reminiscent of the Delorean from Back to the Future in my driveway! I told him he should get one from the 60s but he frowned and said if he had 100k of disposable income he would. Hah! Suddenly the ‘96 was looking quite nice!

Muscle cars really aren’t my thing and had he pulled up in that vehicle on our first date, he might not have gotten a second date... let alone the moniker Mr. Perfect.:-)

Anyway, here’s a pic from the ad :

It's not that bad, right?

Options.

2010-04-14T15:26:00.002-04:00

I met with my director this morning and it appears my stats class was not the reason I was not accepted into the program... my grade point average was the problem. Apparently, because I was exempted from two courses last year (psychology and chemistry – due to previous classes I had done), their replacement courses aren’t included in my GPA. In other words, my GPA is calculated using my scores for 83 credits, but divided by 89 credits. I’m not sure I’m explaining it very well. :-S Essentially, my GPA is 3.2 but according to their calculations it’s 2.99 which makes me fall short of the cut off line of 3.0. According to my director, they chose to accept everyone with a 3.0 average, even if their requirements were for a 2.5. There were just too many candidates. As well, my 2.99 was a major debating point on the selection committee, but in the end, the rule said I just didn’t make the 3.0 cut off. Armed with this new knowledge, I’ve been told I’m next on the list for a spot. Should someone quit, I’m in.

But now, I just don’t know what I want. I crunched the numbers and talked to a few people today and the difference between the accelerated and the normal program is actually 3,094$ and 4 months. I’m torn between the two. My list of positive points are looking pretty good right now... if I get the chance, should I push myself for an early graduation? What’s 4 months in the grand scheme of things? My director kept telling me the accelerated program was brutal and that I shouldn’t even be pushing for it, while a recent nurse graduate told me it’s a piece of cake.

Gah! What to do. What to do.

5 months. 5 grand.

2010-04-09T13:25:00.001-04:00

Well, it looks like I won’t be graduating in December 2010 as I had previously hoped. :-( I wasn’t accepted into the accelerated program because of scheduling technicality. Ugh. I needed my statistics course to be accepted, and because I had a scheduling conflict last Fall, I wasn’t able to do it. As I’ve mentioned before, I had been able to rearrange my clinical practicum schedule to do my statistics class in the Spring, but my acceptance was dependant on the number of applicants. They’ve always had a dozen or so applicants, but this year they had 32. Blarg. 21 where accepted.

It really sucks because students who failed practicums last year where accepted before me. I get that, in theory, there’s a risk I don’t pass my stats class, but I think I should still be accepted before people who have failed classes, no?

Anyway, I’m done fighting this. It seems like I’ve had constant road blocks with this. I guess I’m just not meant to graduate in December. I’ve been trying to focus on the positive things:
- I get to attend a real convocation - something I've been looking forward to for a very long time;
- With four classes one semester and 3 the next, it should be fairly mellow compared to previous years;
- I might work part time in health care, which means more experience;
- I won’t start working already burnt out from school;
- More time to study for my national exams;

I guess it’s not so bad, right?

...

Congratulations – You’re an adult now

2010-04-01T14:24:00.001-04:00

I’ve now completed two rotations (neurology and psychiatry), with three to go (pediatrics, obstetrics and community health). Tomorrow I start my rotation in peds. Since they’ve had so much trouble finding teachers, they are opting for an alternative teaching style for our group. Instead of having one teacher for a group of 5 students, each student will be assigned to a nurse and we will follow her (or his) schedule for 8, 12-hour shifts. It’s actually an awesome deal for us because we get one-to-one teaching and an opportunity to learn even more. This also means I will be doing my first, “official” 12 hour shifts... both days AND nights. I've never worked nights before so it's a whole new experience for me. It will be my chance to peer into my future and see how life will be doing shift work.

Besides starting my first night shift (8 pm to 8 am) tomorrow, I’m also getting two kids and a couple of dogs. My sister and her husband and going on trip and Mr. Perfect and I will be staying with their 12 and 14 year old boys (as well as their two dogs). While they are gone I’ll be working 1 night shift and 3 day shifts... that means Mr. Perfect will be on his own for the first night, as well as for three supper/evenings while I’m at the hospital. I guess you can say it’s a dry run for the real world within a day I go from student to shift work with two kids and three dogs. Wheeeee!

Teacher’s Pet

2010-03-17T12:34:00.003-04:00

I’m currently doing my second of 5 clinical rotations in psychiatry. My first rotation was a six week stint in neurology. I really loved the department and got to work with some amazing patients, but I can’t say I loved my practicum. So far, my current practicum has been pretty sweet! The major difference between the two rotations is mostly my standing in the group. Because of scheduling issues, my group was split into several groups for the first rotation so this is the first time we are all together. I’ve been matched up with some good students both times, but there always seems to be a pecking order. In my neurology rotation I was on the bottom of the totem pole while on this one, I’m the star pupil. The difference is amazing, yet somewhat disturbing.

In my neurology rotation we were 7 students and I would say we were all on an even playing field (somewhat anyway). The teacher assigned to us, we’ll call her Ginger, was teaching for the very first time so she had quite a few challenges. No matter how hard I tried I always got a bad vibe from her. I always got the feeling she didn’t feel I was doing a good job, even though I was doing exactly the same thing as the others. My friend and fellow student Sarah (not her real name) was definitely the star pupil in the group... and she didn’t seem to see why I was so frustrated. In her eyes, Ginger was an awesome teacher who gave us lots of freedom and didn’t ask much of us. Maybe it was because I was a more demanding student: I didn’t like when she cancelled our clinical (something she did 4 times) or cut them short (at least 2 hours every day) and would get frustrated because she never gave me any of the challenging cases. Sarah on the other hand got to do all the cool stuff: insert an NG tube, insert a couple of IVs, insert a catheter, attend a neuro surgery, etc. I did nothing but bath my patients... and I mean NOTHING. It was incredibly frustrating. All the other students got to try new things and each passing was just another week I didn’t get to do anything. I ended up with a B, which was the lowest grade she gave. Humph. Anyway, the clinical is over with so I’m moving on.

In my new rotation, however, I’m the one getting the special treatment. Whenever I make a mistake my teacher (Nadine), brushes it off saying something like, I know you knew better, so don’t worry about it. I get to do things no one else does too. On Friday I’ll be at the children and adolescent psychiatric unit; a privilege no one else ever gets. She’s also said that next week I can job shadow the psychiatric nurse in Emerg. She’s constantly praising me and telling me what a bright student I am and how much potential I have. It’s awesome to have all these opportunities, but I’m also feeling guilty about it. This new group of students isn’t as evenly matched as my previous group. Out of five students including myself I would say two are strong students, two are strong students lacking self-confidence and one is out in left field. Also, Nadine is the type of teacher who makes you suffer if you aren’t up to her standards or if you don’t stand by your convictions. She yells at students, degrades them and makes them cry and want to quit on a daily basis. It really sucks for the students who have a target on their back, but they also didn’t come prepared for the clinical either. One student in particular, “Linda” is a mature student who has been doing her Bachelor for-ev-er. She’s failed a few classes because, as she said, “the teacher made her fail”, and keeps screwing up on a daily basis. On our first day she showed up in street wear when everyone else was in scrubs. That same week she missed her assignment because “no one told her she had to go to the hospital to get it” and yet the other 4 students had clearly understood we had an assignement. It takes her 30 minutes to give meds to 2 patients when it takes about 5 to 10 minutes for everyone else. Nadine LOVES to pick on her and boy does she! The more Nadine screams, the more Linda flails. It’s really sad to see.

All this to say that it’s awesome getting special treatment, but I don’t want the other students to start hating me. I mean, for one thing it’s not fair and for another, we’re going to be together for another 4 months! I keep trying to remind myself to just take advantage of all the opportunities I’m getting (it is my career, after all) while remaining level headed as possible. I try my best to help out the students and encourage them, because two of them just need to know they are doing a good job, but even that doesn’t work because now Nadine has told me that she’ll be lowering my grade if I keep helping everyone else. Grrr.

Anyway, I guess I just have to remember to keep my ego in check because my next rotation could do a 180! It’s tough when so much of your grade depends on how well you “connect” with the prof.

***

By request - the recipe

2010-02-21T10:21:00.001-04:00

Died-and-Gone-to-Heaven Chocolate Layer Cake

Ingredients
• 3 cups (750 mL) granulated sugar
• 2 1/2 cups (625 mL) all-purpose flour
• 1 cup (250 mL)unsweetened cocoa powder
• 2 tsp (10 mL) baking soda
• 1 tsp (5 mL) baking powder
• 1 tsp (5 mL) salt
• 3 large eggs
• 1 1/2 cups (375 mL)buttermilk
• 1 cup (250 mL)strong brewed coffee, cooled
• 3/4 cup (180 mL)vegetable oil
• 1 tsp (5 mL) vanilla
• 4 oz (115 g) unsweetened chocolate squares, melted and cooled slightly

For the frosting
• 1 1/4 cups (300 mL)granulated sugar
• 1/3 cup (80 mL) unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 cup (250 mL) 35 per cent whipping cream
• 6 oz (165 g) semisweet chocolate squares
• 2 tsp (10 mL)vanilla
• 8 oz (225 g) light cream cheese, softened
• 1 cup (250 mL) butter, softened

Directions
Preheat oven to 350 F (180 C). Lightly grease bottom and sides of three 9-inch (23-cm) round cake pans. Cut circles of wax paper or parchment paper to fit bottom of pans and place in pans. Lightly grease paper. Set pans aside.

Combine sugar, flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder and salt in a large bowl. Set aside.

In another large bowl, beat eggs on high speed of electric mixer for about 3 minutes, until they have thickened slightly and are lemon coloured. Add buttermilk, coffee, oil, vanilla and melted chocolate. Mix on low speed until well blended.

Gradually add dry ingredients to wet ingredients and mix on medium speed until batter is smooth. Divide batter evenly among pans. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in centre of cakes comes out clean. Cool in pans on a wire rack for 10 minutes. Remove cakes from pans, peel off paper and cool completely before frosting.

To make frosting: Whisk sugar, cocoa, and whipping cream in a medium saucepan. Cook slowly over medium heat, whisking constantly, until mixture comes to a gentle boil. Cook 1 minute. Remove from heat and stir in chocolate until melted. Stir in vanilla. Let cool to room temperature.

In a large bowl, beat cream cheese and butter on high speed of electric mixer until smooth. Add cooled chocolate mixture and beat on medium speed until well blended. Refrigerate frosting until desired spreading consistency is reached, about 1 hour. It’s important not to let it get too firm, or you won’t be able to spread it.

To frost cake: Place one cake layer on a pretty plate. Spread 1 cup (250 mL)? frosting over top. Repeat with second layer. Place final layer on top. Ice top and sides of cake with remaining frosting. Decorate cake with chocolate curls and/or chocolate-covered strawberries, if desired. Cover and refrigerate. Let cake stand at room temperature for 30 minutes before serving.

— Eat, Shrink & Be Merry, by Janet and Greta Podleski

When you clean chocolate off the walls... you know it’s going to be a good cake

2010-02-20T11:00:00.004-04:00

Yesterday I made the most incredible birthday cake for Mr. Perfect: Triple Layer, Died and Gone to Heaven Chocolate Cake. A few of the ingredients (cake + frosting) include – 4.5 cups of sugar, 1 cup of butter, 1 cup of vegetable oil, 1 cup of cream cheese and loads of chocolate! It took me 3 hours to complete and Mr. Perfect decided to come home an hour early to completely ruin the surprise, but the end product is sheer decadence! I’ll admit it... part of the reason I made it was because I really wanted to taste it. :-)

The pièce de résistence:

Happy Birthday to me!

2010-02-14T19:03:00.005-04:00

Mr. Perfect got me an interesting birthday gift. It's something I wanted for about 6 years now, but never had the guts to do it - a tattoo! It wasn't so much the pain or the regret that scared me, it's not knowing a tattoo artist I could trust. Anyway, after seeing Mr. Perfect get his latest tattoo, I felt confident enough to do it and Mr. Perfect offered to pay for it as a birthday gift.

So here it - my very first tattoo:

It's an image of a phoenix. I chose it because I like the story of the phoenix: a mythical bird who rises from the ashes to be born again. I like the idea that with any of life's challenge, no matter how hard it is, I can rise from the ashes and start a new. I had it done on the lower right side of my back. I love the way it looks and can't wait for it to be completely healed. I have to admit, it hurt a lot more than I thought it would, but I survived and I would do it again.

...

I heart my University

2010-01-22T10:38:00.001-04:00

I think it might be the one and only time you’ll hear me say I love my university. For the most part, I tend to complain about my institution of higher learning, but today they really came through. Since the devastating quake in Haiti last week, my University has tried to help the 77 Haitian students as much as possible. Today the president announced that all Haitian students will be reimbursed their tuition fees, will be offered free lodging on campus and get a free meal card for the rest of the semester. I’m so happy that the university has stepped up. I can’t imagine how horrible it must be for them to be living through this ordeal. :-( To be so far from their families and feel completely helpless must be devastating.

...

The mystery boy in the picture

2010-01-21T10:39:00.002-04:00

My Mom has had a framed family picture on her mantel for 17 years now. It’s a picture taken at the airport of our family and my brother-in-law’s family. It was taken when my sister and her husband moved back to the province after a two-year stint in Alberta. The picture has a special place as it’s one of the last pictures of my father. My brother-in-law comes from a rather large family of 7 with lots of nieces and nephews. I know some of them, but certainly not all, so it’s never really been a surprise that I could never identify a few of the kids in the picture (there was about a dozen in that particular picture).

I found out not so long ago that one of the boys in the picture actually isn’t family... although, I guess you could say he could potentially be MY family someday – it’s Mr. Perfect’s younger brother! How weird is that? Mr. Perfect’s brother was friends with my brother-in-law’s nephew and I guess he tagged along for the ride to the airport that day. Hah! How weird that my potential future brother-in-law would have a prominent spot in my family home for half of my life. Life sure is strange sometimes.

...

Did you want some cookies?

2010-01-20T14:44:00.002-04:00

Yesterday while grocery shopping with Mr. Perfect, the worst imaginable thing happened... I became my mother! GAH! I know, I know, there are worst things, but it was quite troubling in the moment.

You see, before Mr. Perfect moved in, I would never buy cookies. I have a very low impulse control when it comes to food so I won’t buy anything I know I could gobble down in a single sitting. Mr Skinny... err... I mean, Mr. Perfect on the other hand likes to have an occasional cookie. He amazes me with his eating habits. He’ll be craving cookies and will only eat one and his craving is satisfied. I wish I could be so strong. Anyway, now that I’ve gotten used to having cookies in the house, I rather enjoy it. I’ve also been eating them sparingly, so that’s good. Last night, while we were going down the cookie aisle, I asked Mr. Perfect if he wanted cookies, when he didn’t answer, I repeated the question and when he still didn’t answer I insisted one more time: “hey, don’t forget your cookies”. Honestly, I’m not even sure I gave him the chance to respond. Hah! That’s when he responded with: “if you want cookies D, get cookies... don’t make it sound like they are only for me”. I froze in the aisle, realising what I had done. Oh God! I’ve become my mother, I panicked! My Mom likes to blame others for her poor eating habits or buy something for someone else so she can justify having it. It drives me bonkers! I swear, if I start panicking about driving in the snow or calling people with a silly excuse just to talk to them, I might just have a heart attack!

...

Taking off the glasses

2010-01-16T14:45:00.002-04:00

Living with Dysthemia is never easy, but it’s particularly challenging when the illness is affecting you and you don’t even realise it. Sometimes it feels like you are wearing a really bad pair of glasses that amplify your faults, diminish your strengths and makes you see things in other people that just aren’t there. Take yesterday for example. I was just finishing up the first week of my new clinical practicum. New clinicals are always challenging because everything is, well, new: new department, new teacher, new students, and new ways of doing things. This one was particularly challenging since it had been 6 months since the last clinical (talk about feeling rusty), it was at a different hospital AND in a different language (English vs French). Add to all that the exhaustion of long shifts, late nights of research to prep for the following day and sleepless nights filled with anxiety.

By the end of my shift yesterday I was in tears. I felt like I was doing everything wrong and couldn’t seem to get the hang of even the most basic things like bathing my patient. Warning TMI (too much information) ahead... when you have to change your semi-comatose patient’s sheet because you’ve managed to spread bodily fluids everywhere, you know your technique is definitely lacking. :-( I felt completely incompetent and awkward, I felt like all the other students were breezing through everything and were way more experienced than me. I was really regretting taking a desk job over the summer instead of one as an orderly. When my teacher talked about issues during the day at the end of the shift, I was certain they were all about me.

Even with Mr. Perfect I thought I was doing things wrong. After work I drove to Truro to drop off my car (which has been sold by the way – yay). I felt like Mr. Perfect was frustrated to have to give me a drive back home, even though he was in Nova Scotia already for work. I was sure he was upset with me because I had sold my car and would now be “burdening” him with my lack of transportation. I managed to convince myself that he was keeping some kind of frustration from me, which resulted in me asking (over and over again), “is anything wrong?”

I ended up sleeping in the spare bedroom just so I could cry myself to sleep. I didn’t want to Mr. Perfect to know I couldn't keep it together. This morning wasn’t much better. Even though I had been working on my weekly report every night this week, I still had hours of work to do before my noon deadline. My head ached and I was completely overwhelmed by the 30 pages or so of work that needed to be completed.

I only realised I had been “wearing my Dysthemia glasses” for the last two days when Mr. Perfect asked me if I had taken my medication. I had, but the question seemed to send an alarm bell in the back of my mind. I suddenly realised I wasn’t an incompetent nurse or a horrible girlfriend... I was in a fog of Dysthemia. It’s incredible how it can distort your perceptions and make you imagine the most ridiculous things. I’ve since been able to “remove my glasses”, but I need to remind myself of my illness whenever my exhaustion or stress makes me doubt myself. It’s odd to think than anyone would need to be reminded of an illness. We’ve also planned to go for a run this afternoon, which I know will help greatly.

Real Men Don’t Learn to Run

2010-01-11T22:40:00.000-04:00

I seemed to have peaked Mr. Perfect’s interest with the idea of running an international half-marathon or marathon. He’d also like to do it for a cause like the Team Diabetes run I did a few years back. Although he was blessed with a runner’s physique (tall and lean), Mr. Perfect is not a runner. Since he’s interested in training I decided we could start out the New Year with a little running. We’re not calling it Learn to Run... we’re calling it building a base. Of course, we’re using the Learn to Run techniques... but don't tell him that. :-P

We went out for our first run tonight. The first 2 minutes set was brutal! I was trying to run really fast, thinking my normal speed would be too slow for his long legs, but it was killing me. I was quite happy to hear he also found those first two minutes tough. We slowed down for the following sets and the rest went really well. I’m so excited to be out running with Mr. Perfect! He even said it was fun (minus the cold).

Killing them softly with sweetness

2010-01-06T20:52:00.000-04:00

This morning I emailed the clinical coordinator to apologise for my unprofessional behaviour in her office yesterday. I told her even though I was upset, I had no right to yell at her and she didn’t deserve my total melt down. Well, maybe niceness paid off because she responded to my email saying she appreciated my comment and that I had every right to be upset. She added that I shouldn’t despair because she was trying to find a solution. And guess what? She did!!!! What a freakin’ relief! I will now be doing my first clinical rotation in neurology starting next week and finish off with the community health bloc. Phew! All is right in the world again.

Am I just a Drama Queen?

2010-01-05T16:23:00.002-04:00

Seriously. Do I exaggerate everything and invite drama into my life or does drama just follow me everywhere? I swear, if there is any possibility that I can take a detour on the way to my goals, I will end up taking it.

The latest drama in my life is regarding the accelerated nursing program. As I’ve mentioned before, the accelerated program gives you the opportunity to finish a semester earlier (December 2010, instead of May 2011). To take the accelerated route you need three things:
1. A 2,5 GPA or higher – check
2. Complete all your optional courses – check
3. Complete a stats class before your 4th year – not checked.

I was planning on doing my stats class last semester, but at the last minute, the class was bumped into a time slot that didn’t fit into my schedule. My advisor said that I could do it during the Spring instead at the same time I was doing my clinical practicum. To insure I didn’t have any evening shifts, I would have to do my Community Health bloc last it is always day shifts and my stats class is an evening class. My supervisor made the request, I got a copy of the letter and all was good.

I received my clinical practicum schedule before Christmas and as promised, I was doing my Community Health bloc last – Yay. Then, the prof in charge of my group quit for the first practicum (there are 5 blocs in total)and we all had to be dispersed into new groups. Because it was only for the first bloc of the practicum, it didn’t influence my Community Health bloc – yay. Then, over the weekend, they decided to do a little shifting around because of scheduling issues and moved me (and only ME) to another group. This new group starts out the semester in Community Health. I received an email about it this morning (the email was sent at 10:30 last night). I was livid when I read the email! I had specifically asked to have Community Health last... and this was back in September! Out of the 7 students in the group, they decide to bump me. It was completely random. Now they say there is nothing they can do as it’s “too late” to do anything. I was just bumped last night for fuck sake! I’m just getting home now from a meeting with the clinical coordinator (where I yelled at her and then started bawling). :-( I'm just so pissed off because I'm always getting shitty deals. When they put me at hospital no one else wanted to go, I didn't complain, when they gave me a practicum in June instead of May (and therefore loosing a month's work) I didn't complain like so many others did. But now, I'm not sitting back and taking it. It's just so unfair!

Why do I keep getting road blocks with this? Is it just me or does it seem awfully difficult for me to do the accelerated program?

I’m a total BAAAAABe!

2009-12-21T13:22:00.002-04:00

I’m a Babe with lots of As because those are my final marks for the semester: one B, one B+, one A- and four As! Yippppeeeee! My only “disappointment” is my B in paediatrics. The class was killer and even though I spent the most time studying for that class, I just couldn’t bump up that score. Plus, I am 0.25 away from a B+... so close, yet so far!

Before Mr. Perfect moved in, he was worried he would influence my studies. Turns out he DID have an influence on my studies, but in a positive way with my best semester ever. I finished with a 3.7 GPA which is equivalent to an A-. I totally rocked this semester!

Unfortunately, my vacation will be short lived as I just got an email this morning advising me that I have two exams on January 7 with about a 100 pages to read and study. As a bonus, I need a 90% to pass each exam. Yehaw! Such is the life of a student. I'm still going to spend a few days in my PJs. Humph

Pity Post.

2009-12-01T12:02:00.000-04:00

Back in October I got a call from Public Health offering me a job at immunization clinics. As a bonus, they said they would be paying me the salary of a REAL nurse. I was ecstatic! I could make more money there in 6 weeks than I could make working at Cora’s for 4 months! So what did I do? I accepted the job and immediately quit Cora’s. A few days after I quit, I find out I won’t be getting paid the same as a nurse, but the salary is comparable to Cora’s so I don’t care. Well, fast forward a few weeks and the vaccination debacle began. They cancel my first shift because they don’t have enough vaccines. I haven’t received any shifts since... and don’t have any money coming in. In the meantime, I applied for EI. Normally, students don’t qualify for EI, but the provincial government was offering some sort of partnership that let us apply. I figured, if I could get EI I wouldn’t have to work for my last year. Taking 7 classes per semester AND working every weekend is just exhausting! The thought of having my weekends to study sounded completely dreamy. Well, I just got a message from EI saying I don’t qualify because I don’t have enough hours. FUCK! I’m so upset right now! I don’t want to go back to Cora’s. The idea of having to work every weekend is making me nauseous.

I know I have to start looking for a job stat before the money runs out, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I know I could go back to Cora’s in an instant, but that would be my very last resort. Can you please send me happy job vibes so I can find a job with a decent salary where I could work one day a week that doesn't make me want to slit my wrists?

Great Big Shin-Dig

2009-11-17T11:23:00.003-04:00

Last weekend Mr. Perfect and I went to Halifax for a fundraising event called the The Great Big Dig for the IWK. It’s a yearly event organised by the construction industry to raise funds for the IWK Children’s Hospital. Mr. Perfect’s company had sponsored a table so we attended with his co-workers and their spouses. We had such a great time and his coworkers were really lovely. It was a nice chance to get away, dress up and enjoy a wonderful 6-course meal... which included lots of wine, of course.:-) Although we forgot to take pictures during the event, we did manage to get a few shots with the self-timer after we the event. Not the best pictures, but we still looking smashing! :-P

And for the record, my hand is NOT grabbing anything!! Hey, I think this is the first time Mr. Perfect has been revealed!

The return to the real world was not as fun. Of course, there is the return to the books with two exams and two projects awaiting me, but there was also a sad phone call to be had. A friend of mine from NG called to tell me one of my colleagues from Sobeys, Harley, had been killed in motorcycle accident on Saturday. I was in shock. He was only in his mid-thirties with two young children. His poor family. :-( He will be deeply missed by everyone.

Happy Belated Halloween!

2009-11-04T16:37:00.005-04:00

My Mom bought this for Pacha a few weeks ago. As she says... it's for the kids (insert eye roll here). What can I say, she makes a cute pumpkin. Even Mr. Perfect thought she looked cute... but he still refused to bring her for a walk in her costume. :-)

October Méli-Mélo

2009-10-31T07:56:00.002-04:00

I’ve had ideas for posts rolling around my head for weeks now, but just haven’t had the time to write them down. So here is a general update on my life:

Family
First, I’ll start with the bad news. My 14 year old nephew Alex was diagnosed with H1N1 yesterday. He went to emerg after having trouble breathing, they did a swab and called a few hours later to confirm it was H1N1. The rational part of me knows that 99% of people who get this will be fine in a few days, but I'm still a little worried. I hope he's ok, and I hope it doesn't spread through my family. My other sister has Diabetes, so does her son and her husband has MS.... I don't want to think of what could happen if it spread to them.

School
As mentioned in my previous post, I had been following a family through the last months of pregnancy. It was a wonderful experience. The mother was afraid I would be traumatised by the experience and wouldn’t want to have kids. I told her if I could have the amount of control she had, labour should be easy peasy. She gave birth without an epidural or any drugs. She meditated through her contractions and was so completely focused I was amazed.

I finished the project this week with a post-partum visit with the family and do a physical assessment of the new babe. Everything went perfectly. The little one was so cooperative and I managed to finish my assessment with flying colours. Now I just have to finish my report for Monday and I’m done!

The rest of my classes are going really well. My first set of exams and projects were a few weeks ago and I did really well on all of them. The one I wrote the day I attended the birth wasn’t all that great, but considering I was pretty exhausted, I’m happy with it.

Work
Tomorrow is my last shift at Cora’s. YAY!!!! I gave my two week notice when I accepted a temporary job with public health. As of this week I’ll be joining the craziness and administrating H1N1 vaccines. I’m hoping the money I’ll make over the next few months will sustain me for some time in the new year.

Home Life
Mr. Perfect moved in a week ago and my last tenant moved out. Wheeee! The move went really well and we’re almost done reorganising the house. So far things couldn’t be better. In fact, we’re so happy we’re practically annoying!

No Pressure

2009-09-21T09:55:00.001-04:00

Last Saturday I was hanging out with my nephews Alex (14) and Isaac (12). Apparently my sister had told them Mr. Perfect was moving in with me.

Alex: Mom told me Mr. Perfect was going to move in with you. That’s really great news, huh?
Me: Yes it is. We’re very happy.
Alex: Do you think you’ll marry him?
Me: Well… maybe.
Isaac: That would be fun because I don’t an uncle Perfect yet!
Alex: I would really like that too. But… just so you know, I would really like some more cousins, ok?

Thank kid - no pressure at all.

...

Finally; The Perfect Roommate.

2009-09-18T13:28:00.003-04:00

It’s taken a very long time, but I just know I’ve finally found the perfect roommate. He won’t be moving in until the end of October, but I can’t wait! You might have guessed it... Mr. Perfect will be moving in with me. :-) We decided this week it was time to take the plunge and we're hoping to begin our domestic bliss during my study break the last week of October.

I’ve had a perma-smile the last few days and have resisted the urge to tell absolutely everyone I meet. It hasn’t been easy because I’m just so excited! It’s going to be so nice to wake-up to him every morning, to have supper together every night, not to have to truck 10,000 bags (school bag, overnight bag, running gear, Pacha’s bag, gah!) back and forth between homes every few days, knowing that even though I am studying we can have moments together that don’t necessitate a 30 minute commute and a degree in logistics!

We’ve also decided that we don’t want anyone else living with us. Can I just say how excited I am not to have to share my house with strangers anymore!?! For the first time since I bought the house I can walk around naked, I can decorate every room just the way I (or we) want it, if stuff gets broken it’s because we accidentally broke it and not because some careless tenant has no appreciation for anything that isn’t his, hell, we can even do it in every room!

We haven’t told Bonhomme yet and I think it’s best to wait until he gives me the rent for October. I wouldn’t want him to get pissed off and move out and leave me high and dry for a month.

It looks like my “16 months left” chant has now turned into a “38 days left” chant. Wheeeeee!

...

September Méli-Mélo

2009-09-14T11:00:00.002-04:00

School Life
Last week I started my third year in nursing. I can’t believe I’m actually in my THIRD year! I’m not sure why, but it feels like I suddenly have street cred when it comes to my studies. With two years under my belt I feel much more like a nurse. It’s an awesome feeling. It’s also great to know that I’m at least halfway done... and maybe more if I am accepted in the accelerated program (I’ll know by the end of the semester).

This semester is all about the specialties: pediatrics, labour & delivery, psychiatry, community health, as well as a few classes on nursing theory. It’s nice not to have any clinical practicum mixed in with my classes. Starting in January, though, I’ll have 6 months of clinical work.

Home Life
I’m still searching for a new roommate. I can pretty much scratch off September, but I’m hoping I’ll get someone by October. In the last 8 months I’ve had 4 months with at least one vacant room. That’s really tough on the finances.

Last Saturday Mr. Perfect helped me out with a few home projects, including cutting down trees and replacing missing boards on my patio. I was so grateful for his help! I keep looking at my patio and can’t believe the boards have FINALLY been replaced! I’ve been “planning” on doing it since April. Mr. Perfect also got an introduction to my wacky sense of organization. The following conversation took place, as we were about to go work on the patio:
Mr.Perfect: “Where’s the cat’s paw (nail puller), I lent you a few months ago?”
Me: “Ummm… I think it’s in my office… on my desk”
Mr. Perfect: “Of course... office... makes complete sense”
Mr. Perfect: “Didn’t you say you bought nails? Where are they”
Me (giggling): “In the kitchen… in the drawer where I keep my dishcloths”
Me (about to go outside to do some work): “I’ll be right there. I just have to get my hammer”
Mr. Perfect looks at me with a look that says “And where might your hammer be?”
Me: “I keep my hammer in my filing cabinet.” :-)

Love Life
Obviously, Mr. Perfect and I are still going strong. Returning to my school routine has been tough as we were used to seeing each other almost every day, but we are making it work. We'd like to move in together eventually, but we are trying to be responsible about it and take our time with that decision. We don't want to move in together just because I need a new roommate... we want it to be for the right reasons.

Curses!

2009-09-07T14:34:00.001-04:00

What the hell is wrong with people? I’ve been stood up yet again by a potential tenant. I seriously hate these people. They are completely rude and inconsiderate. Grrrrr!

I’ve had my house for 2 years on August 1 and in that span I’ve had 9 roommates, including She-Man, the Virgin, the Plumber, the kid, the ghost, the boyfriend (the ghost’s boyfriend that is), Big Rig, BRE (Best Roommate Ever) and now Bonhomme. Of these 9, 5 of them have been in the last 6 months. *sigh* I’ve also had about 36 people visit my house, 92 emails or phone calls and at least 15 no shows.

The prospective roommate I was supposed to see today had true potential. She was eager to see the place and we made an appointment for her to come over around 2:00. I have a lot to do today, as it’s the first day of school tomorrow, but didn’t want to be in the middle of cleaning and such when she arrived, so I waited... and waited... and waited. After an hour had passed by, I called her. She said she wasn’t sure she wanted to come see the place anymore. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. ARG! Don’t you know how to pick up a damn phone?

The current tenant, known as Bonhomme (French expression meaning “what’s his name”), is general pretty good. He’s cut my lawn a few times, has brought Pacha for a walk on occasion and usually leaves the kitchen clean. However, yesterday I came home to find a condom on my TV stand. No; not a condom wrapper, or a condom still IN the wrapper; it was a partially unrolled condom. Lovely. Mr. Perfect and I kept trying to figure out why he would have a condom on the TV stand (even if he had been entertaining a guest while we were out of town), when the couch was all the way at the other end of the living room. We finally decided not to think about it because it was just grossing us out even more.

Sixteeen months... sixteen months... sixteen months. Please chant with me: “I only have 16 months to go”.

...

Poor Little Pupster

2009-09-04T10:09:00.002-04:00

Pacha had to visit the vet this morning. She had a nail ripped clean off and was constantly licking it for the last three days. I finally called my vet today to see if I should come in and he said it would probably be best as it wouldn’t heal until she stopped obsessing over it. So now her back paw is all bandaged up and she keeps lifting up in the air and pointing it straight out... it’s actually quite funny to see her. She was a real trouper at the vet and her wiggling to get away was kept to a minimum.

This paw makes for some awkward sitting

Turning into a sap

2009-09-03T08:12:00.001-04:00

This morning as I was driving into work I was listening to the announcer talking about the Canadian army’s recent attempt at using donkeys to help out soldiers in Afghanistan. Unfortunately, the use of donkeys was unsuccessful as the gear they were carrying was much too heavy for them. Apparently, one donkey ran away and one drowned trying to carry gear across a river. I have no idea why, but I found that so sad. :-( Poor donkey. I'm such a sap when it comes to animals since I got Pacha. I can't watch any reports where animals get abused or read stories about puppy mills. It makes me wonder how I'll be when I have kids. Right now I have no problem dealing with sick kids and would like to work in paediatrics... but maybe I'll turn into mush after I have kids. I wonder if there is a way to predict such things?

Waiting most of my life to say this…

2009-08-24T08:02:00.001-04:00

I’m about to say something I’ve been hoping to say for the last 25 years: I am no longer allergic to raspberries! I realise this might seem like trivial news to most of you, but the memory of just how sick raspberries made me when I was little, still makes me shiver.

Most people who know me IRL, have likely heard me ask: what’s this red stuff in this desert? What’s this made of? I hadn’t had a raspberry since I was 7 or 8 years old. My mother discovered I was allergic to raspberries when I spent a summer eating raspberries out of my great-uncle’s garden and subsequently spending the rest of the day with a horrible migraine and vomiting. I was so scarred of raspberries when I was little that I didn’t even eat a raspberry flavoured gummy until I was an adult!

I had always wanted to see if I had outgrown the allergy, but there just never seemed to be a right time to block off the day for a potential migraine. Then, a few months ago, I accidentally received a raspberry crepe instead of the strawberry crepe I had ordered. I realised the error the instant I took a bite, but it was too late. Obviously I didn’t eat the rest of the crepe, but it was too late for the single bite. I waited for the killer migraine to hit, but it never came. In the last month I started experimenting: raspberry yogourt… nothing, cottage cheese with field berries… nothing, frozen raspberries in a smoothie… still nothing!

This news brings a world of opportunities: new desserts, variety packs of yogourt that include raspberries, blackberries or field berries and of course, fresh raspberries. Yay!

...

I’ve paid my dues – now give me a break.

2009-08-14T11:03:00.000-04:00

My Mom is an interesting character. Since my father passed away 16 years ago, she has depended a lot on her daughters. In her mind, children are there to take care of their parents as they age, entertain their parents when need be and basically tend to their parents every whim and need. Since moving back to the city three years ago, I’ve been fairly good at tending to my daughterly duties. I was single and could easily call her most days and see her a few times a week. With the exception of not always inviting her when I went out with my sisters (which apparently is a big daughterly no-no), I’ve been mostly on the ball.

The Mr. Perfect dreamily walks into my life. Did I drop everything in my life to be with him 24/? Of course not! I still call my mother every other day and make sure to see her at least once a week. Sure, it’s possible I might have gone two days without calling, but I do have sisters who also call her. Plus, she’s the most social person I know – she has tons of friends.

A few weeks ago I called her on a Sunday and she went on and on about how she was all alone Friday and Saturday night and how she called everyone and no one was around. It was a lot of poor me whining. Even though I had lots to do around the house that afternoon, I folded and asked if she wanted to do something. So I ended up spending the day with my Mom rather than cleaning my house.

Last night she pulled the same stunt again. I had spent Sunday with her and had called her at least three times. Mr. Perfect had come over for supper and we were making a BBQ. Around 5:00, my Mom showed up. She wanted me to go over to her place for supper. Obviously she saw that I couldn’t as the BBQ was already fired up and our supper was on its way to being done. Even though we were going to eat soon, I invited her in. I even invited her to stay for supper but she said she couldn’t because she’s on this new fan-dangled diet (that’s a whole other post). She sat there for 15 minutes or so, complaining about all the food she had to eat on her diet and how difficult it was to eat all that food. I pasted my most sincere fake smile and nodded at every word. Finally she slowly got up and said, “Well, I better get going since I’m going to have to eat alone, since you’re having supper with your boyfriend again”, and then she laughs just so we know how passive-aggressive she’s being. I smile and remind her she can stay for supper, but she declines again.

As soon as she left I smiled at Mr. Perfect and he could just tell it was dripping with sarcasm. He responded with, “Holy guilt trip!” Yup. That’s my Mom. I was kinda happy he was there to see it for himself. I sometimes feel like I complain a lot about my mother, but to have someone confirm her silliness was reassuring.

...

Roommate Rotation

2009-08-04T16:05:00.001-04:00

I’m thinking of renaming my blog to Roommate Rotation because that’s all I seem to be talking about lately. My roommate, formerly known as B.R.E. (best roommate ever) has given her notice for the end of the month. From here on in she will be known as N.Q.B.R.E (not quite the best roommate ever). She moved in on July 1. *sigh*

It’s probably for the best anyway as she has a very annoying habit of leaving doors open; front door to the house, back door, kitchen cupboards, closet doors, etc. At one point the front door was open and all my kitchen cupboards where open when I got home from work. For a moment, I thought I had been robbed.

I really shouldn’t judge her... maybe she has some sort of physical disorder that makes it difficult for her to close doors. Maybe she had a brain injury and is suffering from a form of hemispatial neglect... but instead not being aware of one side of space, she’s just unaware of open doors. Hmmmm.... interesting...

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The drugs are good

2009-07-29T08:28:00.001-04:00

I haven’t been feeling very well for the last few months. I’ve had almost constant heart burn and regular nausea. I saw my doctor last week who prescribed a medication to help with the heart burn. The drug is like a miracle worker! No nausea. No heart burn. It’s awesome! But now, I’m faced with a new problem... I can eat anything. Uh Oh. This is so not good! Must. Eat. Healthy.

...

Never a straight road

2009-07-23T12:42:00.003-04:00

I think you’ve come to expect I don’t do things the easy way. In fact, I’m fairly certain "complicated" was supposed to be my middle name (the priest must have changed it when I was baptised). I’m supposed to do the accelerated nursing program come Fall. That means when I start in September, I don’t stop until I graduate in December 2010. To be accepted into the accelerated program, you must have a 2.5 average or higher (check), complete all your electives (check) and complete your statistics class (pending) before the end of the fall semester. I was supposed to do the stats class in the Fall on Monday evenings, but the class is no longer being offered in the evenings... and now it doesn’t fit in my schedule. :-(

I sent a quick email to my director who responded to me while he was on vacation. Apparently I’m not the only person who was depending on that class. He said they might be able to make an exception because I’m so cute (actually, I don’t think it was because of my cuteness, but let’s pretend). I still have to do the class, of course, but I might be able to squeeze it in during the 2010 Spring or Fall semester. Keep your fingers crossed. The accelerated program cuts out an entire semester of school (and debt).

In other news, I had a small financial freak out yesterday. I didn’t have enough money and was ready to sell my Buffy the Vampire Slayer collection. Yes. You read right: I was willing to part with Buffy. Luckily, the pawn shop would only offer me a few bucks for each box set so I just couldn’t do it. Complete blasphemy, I tell you! This is Buffy! It’s a classic. Since then, all my financial problems have been solved as my new roommate unexpectedly moved in today and has already paid his rent for the rest of July and August. Phew. Let’s hope he’s as wonderful as my other roommate who isn’t a decomposing cadaver by the way, but appears to be staying with someone else. She periodically shows up to wash clothes and pick up a few things. Best. Roommate. Evah!

...

The case of the missing roommate

2009-07-15T07:36:00.001-04:00

I haven’t seen my newest roommate in about a week. Her car hasn’t moved and her toothbrush is still in its toothbrush holder. Should I be worried? I don’t know much about her, but from what she told me she needed a room to rent because she broke-up with her boyfriend and wanted to move out of his place. I guess it’s possible she has a new boyfriend and is staying with him... it just seems a little odd. Don’t get me wrong, I love the peace and quiet, I’m just a little concerned. I guess if my house starts smelling like decomposing flesh I’ll go check her room for a body.

In other news, I have found a second roommate. I actually haven’t met him yet, but he called on Sunday saying he wanted to rent the room as he was moving from Halifax. He gave me references and sent the damage deposit via email transfer immediately. I usually go with my gut when choosing a roommate so it’s a bit of a challenge when I haven’t met the person. Let’s just hope that if he turns out to be a crazy killer that someone will check for my body!

...

Mid-Summer Update

2009-07-09T13:42:00.000-04:00

I don’t feel like my life has been all that exciting/funny lately so there hasn’t been much to update. However, since I feel guilty when I don’t post, here is my mid-summer méli-mélo.

- Finished my clinical work last week and it all went very well. My final mark was a B+, which is really good for clinical, but I was really hoping for an A
- Started work in the EEG department at the hospital. It’s very relaxed and not too stressful. It’s nice to not have to use my brain all that much. The down side is that I’m losing 5 days of work because they don’t have enough money in their budget for me. Oh well. I guess it’s just more vacation for me.
- The hole in my ceiling is almost completely repaired. Mr. Perfect and I covered it with drywall last week and he’ll be back this weekend to do the patch work. What a freakin’ mess that drywall! My entire house is covered in a white dusty film. Ugh.
- Pacha has decided she is no longer housetrained and is now peeing on a daily basis while I’m at work. Weird dog.
- My newest roommate seems to be ok. I like the fact that she’s rarely here. :-) I’m still on the search for a second roommate. *sigh*
- I did a prenatal class in preparation for my clinical work in obstetrics. It was awesome! I totally reinforced the fact that I would love to work in Obstetrics.
- I got a sneak peak at my Fall schedule and, so far, it looks like I’ll have Friday’s off. Wheee!

I guess that’s about it for now.

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Happy Anniversary Pacha!

2009-07-01T09:24:00.011-04:00

A year ago today I drove to Halifax to meet my new best friend. I remember it was Canada Day when I went to meet with Pacha’s (then Sofia) former owner. She was so calm and looked so sad. I was convinced I had gotten a chronically depressed pup. Since then, she has blossomed into an adorable little klutz who makes me laugh on a daily basis. For your enjoyment, here is a year of the Pacha:

The first day in her new home

Pacha discovers the belly rub

Pacha vs Blackout the evil neighbourhood cat

Happy Halloween!

Confirmation that she is in fact a dog - as she digs a hole in the mud

Merry Christmas!

Stylin' in her winter coat

Pacha meets her new cousin Jazz

Party Pacha!

Having an afternoon snooze while I study

Pacha meets Dixy

Finally, a picture one year later

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One roommate down. One to go.

2009-06-27T08:16:00.003-04:00

I've finally found someone to rent one of my two rooms. It's such a relief! I was starting to panic imagining going another month without income. Now, if I can just rent out that second room, all will be well.

Send your good vibes my way!

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There’s a hole in my ceiling, Dear Liza, Dear Liza

2009-06-22T13:24:00.001-04:00

Yesterday the main level ceiling started leaking. All I could think was, Dear Lord, don’t let it be expensive! A call to Mr. Perfect and he quickly came over to access the situation. It appeared to be bathroom-plumbing related since the leak was directly below the toilet. After cutting a small hole in my ceiling to see what was up, Mr. Perfect realized he needed a bigger hole. So now there as hole about 4 square feet in my ceiling, but Mr. Perfect has found the leak and will be back tonight to fix it. Have I mentioned how much I love this guy? :-)

Of course, now that there is a hole in the ceiling I finally get someone willing to come see the rooms I have for rent this evening! What timing.

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The 15 year old in me

2009-06-19T14:34:00.002-04:00

Early this year I saw an Oprah episode about teens and sex. Now, I’m not much of an Oprah fan, but this show on at my Mom’s place and I half listened to the topic. One set of guests caught my attention:

From the episode:

Oprah introduced viewers to Pierce and Courtney, a 15 year-old couple who have been together for 3 months and say they are ready to have sex. The couple admit to doing everything sexual together besides having intercourse, and said they loved each other and were ready to take it to the next level.

After commending them on their respect and connection with each other, Dr. Berman moved forward with asking Courtney and Pierce difficult questions about their relationship to see if they were truly ready to have sex. Among the questions asked, Dr. Berman asked the pair what would happen after they had sex; how long they planned to stay together. When Dr. Berman asked the teens how long they wanted to be together, they both answered that they would like to stay together for a long time. When Dr. Berman asked how long that was, Pierce shared that for him a long time is 6 months to a year. Courtney seemed very surprised by his answer.

I sometimes think about that girl and realize how we are often still 15 year old girls with our perfect ideals on relationships. Most women, whether 15 or 55, date with the intention of finding a partner. Men, on the other hand, aren’t always wired the same way. I didn’t want to be like Courtney and assumed Mr. perfect and I were on the same page, when maybe we weren’t even reading the same book! So, earlier this week, I asked him what he sees for us in the future.

I started cautiously, always wanting to protect my heart, so I asked him if he thinks about us 6 months down the road. He seemed puzzled by the question and told me he never really thought about us 6 months into the future. I was momentarily crushed. Then he added, I think about us further down the road, like after you’ve graduated, but not 6 months down the road. What happens in 6 months? I just had to laugh. :-) The discussion proceeded to the possibility of one day moving in together, what we imagined a future my look like; would he move in with me or would I move in with him, how long before kids would be in the picture. I’m very excited to report that I’m no Courtney. We are definitely on the same page.

We’ve only been together a couple of months so we definitely aren’t packing boxes just yet, but if things continue the way they are right now, who knows were I’ll be in a year from now!

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Update on worst week ever.

2009-06-19T14:02:00.002-04:00

As requested, here is a little update on my worst week ever.

1 – Still without roommates and panicking a little
2 – Found more missing stuff like my bottle of bathroom air freshener and my facial scrub
3 - My roommate’s stuff is also missing… everything but his aftershave. I’m guessing it just wasn’t her style.
4 – Big Rig received a letter from his employer which could potentially be a cheque. I’ve been holding it hostage in the hopes of using it as a negotiating tool. I’ve called him several times but it always has a weird busy sound. I’m guessing his cell has been disconnected. He also isn’t on facebook anymore.
4 – I’ve completed 3 weeks of my 4.5 week practicum. Yay! I‘m getting more confident each day.

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Worst. Week. Ever.

2009-06-03T15:51:00.001-04:00

And it’s only Wednesday!

A bit of a back story, to give you some context: Big Rig was supposed to move out at the end of May so when he came to give me the rent for May, he only gave me $175 instead of $325 because he was moving at the end of the month and that would save me from giving him back his $150 deposit. Around the middle of the month he told me he had broken-up with his girlfriend and said he would be staying longer. Fine. I don’t really like him, but it pays the bills. I told him I needed the $150 immediately. I never received it.

Monday
First day of my 5-week clinical practicum. I’m stressed out because it’s a new department, new prof, new students. Starting a new clinical is always difficult.
I get home mid-afternoon and run into Big Rig moving out his stuff. He tells me he has no money and is moving out. He claims he has no money so he is moving in with his girlfriend… they got back together. I’m royally pissed. His girlfriend waltzes in and tells me he will pay me the $100 he owes me next week. I correct her and tell her he owes me $475. She starts freaking out at him, telling him she didn’t know he owed that much. She promises to pay me in a week and then looks at him and says: “just wait till we get home Mr.” Before they leave she tells him to “thank the nice lady” and “apologies for inconveniencing her”. His girlfriend is 22 and he’s 33. On the way out I realize he hasn’t given me back his key. He claims he forgot it at home and she promises to be right back with it. Of course, she never comes back.

Tuesday
I’m in the shower and about to wash my hair, when I realize my shampoo and conditioner are gone. So is my shaving cream and facial soap. What the hell? I knew right away who had taken it and screamed, that fucking bitch! Once I’m out of the shower I realize she also took two pairs of earrings that were in the bathroom. Nothing else appears to be missing. After work, Mr. Perfect comes over and replaces all my locks.

Wednesday
My patient goes home (good for her), but I’m assigned a new patient and have to start all my research over. Ugh. For every medication I give, I have to prepare index cards and to research on the effects of the medication. It usually takes me 30 to 45 minutes per card. I find out my new patient has 27 medications! Not much sleep for me tonight. I checked my voicemails on the way home to find out my other roommate is giving his notice for the end of the month. Can this day get any worse? When I get home, my roommate tells me why he’s leaving. He quit his job yesterday morning. He works as a security guard at the hospital and his girlfriend had to get results for tests at the hospital yesterday. When she was done, she came to see him, crying. She had just found out she has cancer. :-( He asked his boss if he can take the rest of the day off and his boss said no. So he walked out. I know he’s taken a lot of shit from them, so it doesn't surprise me. I guess it was just the last draw. He doesn't know what he's going to do yet, but he'll likely move back to his parents place for now. I don’t think his girlfriend is even 25. :-( She has cervical cancer and they will likely do a hysterectomy

After hearing this latest news, I know I have no reason to complain. I’m healthy, I love my studies (as stressful as it is), and my boyfriend is perfect… but it’s still a pretty shitty week.

Do these ex-in-laws make me look fat?

2009-05-28T14:55:00.001-04:00

My Mom ran into my ex-fiance’s parents this week. When my ex’s fathered inquired about me he had the gall to ask; “did she get fat again?" I’m freakin’ serious. This, from a man who looks 9 months pregnant, his beer belly is so large! The “fat” period he is referring too is when I was about a size 14. He had even asked his son if he really wanted to marry a fat girl.

I'm so glad I have nothing to do with him anymore. He has no clue how much of a negative influence he was on our relationship. I really hope he doesn't influence my ex's current (or future) relationships.

They say you date the person and not the family, but I still believe your partner's family can have a huge impact on your relationship.

In other news - I'm meeting Mr. Perfect's family this weekend. Let's hope they aren't quacks like my ex's parents!

Pepto-Bismal IS romantic

2009-05-19T10:11:00.000-04:00

I’ve been nauseous since last Thursday and it was getting to be a real pain! And NO, I’m not pregnant! Anyway, Saturday night Mr. Perfect and I were supposed to go out with a bunch of my friends to see a concert. I made it to my friend’s house, but never made it too the show because I was sick. I was so disappointed because I was really looking forward to hanging out with all my married friends, because for once, I wasn’t alone. When we got back to Mr. Perfect’s place, I asked if he had any Pepto-Bismal, but he didn’t. He had some Gravol which knocked me out for the night.

Last night I went over to his place and he had been out to do some shopping. Among the things he picked up: Pepto-Bismal, contact lens solution (I’m always complaining about my contact lens) and my favourite peppermint tea. :-) How sweet is that? I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy that someone bought me Pepto-Bismal.

A meeting of the pups

2009-05-16T14:51:00.007-04:00

Yesterday, Mr. Perfect and I decided to get our dogs together and head to Fundy Park for the day. It was the first time our dogs met so we weren’t sure how they would react to each other. Things went wonderfully and the dogs had a blast running on the beach. I think Pacha was a bit enamored with Dixy because everywhere Dixy went, Pacha followed… everything Dixy did, Pacha did as well. Here are some pics of the day.

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I can't believe what I'm about to say...

2009-05-13T10:39:00.003-04:00

It just seems way to early, but I have to share this before I burst!

Monday night, during one of our cuddling marathons, Mr. Perfect told me he’s falling in love with me... and I said me too

It’s completely mad, but it feels so right. We keep trying to slow things down, but can’t seem to help ourselves. We want to be together all the time and kiss and cuddle and touch each other. I haven’t felt like this since I was 16. Anyway, at least we aren’t 16 and keep reminding each other that this craziness will fade, and hopefully we’ll still love each other on the other side of this wild infatuation. We both know that at the very least, we’ll be left with is two people who want the same things and have the same values.

You guys have followed my dating saga for years now… I’ve never gone this fast or been this crazy before! It’s completely out of character for me. I mean, I mock people who go too quickly! Sure, I still have a thousand insecurities and worries about the relationship (are we going too fast? Is it ok if I don’t want to jump him every second of every day? What if I think I’m in love and I’m actually not? Is this going to end up like with my ex-fiancé?) but I tell him all about these insecurities and it makes it all better.

THIS is exactly how I imagined it should be when I met the one. Not saying he is… but when I dreamt about it, it would always be this easy and perfect.

I even updated my relationship status on facebook. You know it's serious when you announce it on facebook. :-P

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What's your favourite collar?

2009-05-06T19:15:00.029-04:00

Over the Christmas holidays I started making dog collars. I really had fun with it and decided I would make an attempt at selling them. It's all style a work in progress but I have all my material and will be starting to work on them tomorrow. Wheeeee!

Here are a few I made for Pacha, Gabi and Rocky:

The following is the variety of collar and colour combinations I have available. Eventually I'll come up with better names, but for now, this is what I have.

Argyle Blue

Argyle Yellow

Black and Red Stripe

Blue and Brown Polka

Blue Farm Animals

Green Farm Animals

Blue Yellow Polka

Cherry Red

Dizzy Purple

Green Citrus

Little Green Flower

Green and Pink Stripe

Little Bear Navy

Little Bear Red

Monkey Business

Navy Plaid

Red Plaid

Purple Polka with Yellow

Purple Polka

Paw Print

Red Polka

Pink and Brown

Stripe it Purple

Zigzag Navy

Green Polka

If you are interested in purchasing a collar, they are available in small, medium and large and are 12$ each. I'm also going to start offering them with a personalised name and phone number monogrammed on it... but I haven't fingered out how to make the numbers. :-) I'll keep you posted.

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THIS is why I call him Big Rig

2009-05-04T17:13:00.002-04:00

And yes, that's my house being dwarfed by that monstrosity!

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I shouldn’t have mocked Big Rig

2009-05-04T07:37:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago I posted about my bizzaro roommate, Big Rig, and his girlfriend. He was moving in with her after having met her three days earlier. At the time I kept thinking: “Seriously? She’s your girlfriend and you only met her three days ago? Are you insane?” Of course, the moving in part was a tad mockable.

Well, it turns out it is possible to meet someone and fall for them rather quickly! I’m not moving in with Mr. Perfect, but he is my boyfriend. Crazy – I know! We spent all of Wednesday together, Friday, Saturday and Sunday night as well. Over the weekend we decided we didn’t want to date anyone else. So, yeah... I dated Mr. Maybe for 5 months and yet I wasn't sure if he was my boyfriend or not and now Mr. Perfect is my boyfriend within a week!

This is so unlike me! I don’t do spontaneous and speedy relationships. I’m the queen of the dysfunctional relationship. It’s a little worrisome, but I’m enjoying the ride.

Oh, and for the record – there are definitely sparks. :-D

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I Rock.

2009-04-28T16:23:00.002-04:00

I finally got back all the results from my exams and my final scores.

Biology: C
Pathophysiology: B-
Pharmacology: B-
Clinical Practicum: B-
Health Assessment: B+
Environmental Health: B+
Nursing and Wellness: A-

I'm really happy with the results, especially since I started off the year lower than i had hopped. Yay me! :-)

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Cue Mr. Perfect.

2009-04-27T10:49:00.004-04:00

I’m dating a new guy. I know what you’re thinking: “Holy crap that was quick”. What can I say; my profile is that good! :-)

I’ve decided to name him Mr. Perfect, because… he is! I can’t find anything wrong with him.

* Cute? Check
* Tall? Check
* Kinda geeky in an adorable way? Check
* French? Check
* Has a great job in a career he loves? Check
* Knows how to write in complete sentences? Check
* Has a house? Check
* Has a dog? Check
* Has a dog that isn’t big enough to swallow Pacha whole? Check
* Thinks I’m adorable? Check
* Thinks Pacha is just as adorable as I am? Check
* Has a healthy relationship with his family? Check
* Affectionate? Check
* Funny? Check
* Gets my wacky sense of humour? Check
* Not afraid to let me know he’s interested? Check
* Good kisser? Check
* Wants kids? Check
* Knows what he wants out of life? Check
* Sensitive, but not so sensitive that you wonder if he’s gay? Check
* Knows how to swing a hammer and owns a tool belt? Check
* Not a virgin, sex maniac or terrified of commitment? Check. Check. Check.

Let's just hope the sparks continue to fly.

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Adventures in online dating

2009-04-26T14:54:00.002-04:00

A friend of mine at alpha Betty offered to rewrite my online dating profile. She did an awesome job! I thought I would test it out because I was so happy with it. check it out:

Tagline: Defying dating advice in record time

I’m about to say THE thing that you’re not supposed to blurt out when you’re single and looking: One day, I want to have kids.

If your mouse didn’t just fly like the wind toward that “back” button – hurrah! ;) Be assured, there is much more to me than a desire to have a family (and I’m hardly ready for kids right this second anyway!). I’m also a confident and caring singleton who takes life by the reins while enjoying the little stuff:

THINGS I LOVE: Creating my own happiness (at 31, I left my career in marketing to become a nurse), my awesome family, my hilariously cute dog, cooking with friends, sarcastic and dry wit, enjoying a Rickard’s Red on a hot summer day, following my heart, smart comedies like Dogma and Love Actually, Pad Thai with spring rolls, getting a great run in, my constant musical companions (David Gray, Ben Harper and DMB), taking pride in my home, making lists and lots more!

THINGS I DON’T LOVE: Going out on a cold winter day (I prefer staying in with a glass of wine!), mean pranks, chronic complainers, having to guess what people are thinking and feeling, mushy peas and a refusal to try new things.

ABOUT YOU (I HOPE!): You know what you want out of life and follow your passion. You’re comfortable showing your interest and that you care. You have a healthy relationship with your family. You’re considerate and sensitive but not afraid to speak your mind. You love to laugh – a lot. You’re happily independent but eager to share your life with the right person. Oh, and it’s a bonus if you’re a lanky guy with a bit of a geek vibe – but looks are hardly everything!

If you’re interested, drop me a line!

Since posting it earlier this week, I’ve been keeping a log of weird people who have contacted me online. I often wonder if they even read my profile. Today, I received two emails from guys in their late-50s… even though the very first line of my profile says I want kids. Umm… really? You want a kid before you’re 60? Bah!
_________

I also got an email from a guy who said: your profile really intrigued me. You seem like an honest and sincere person and these are qualities I really value. When I clicked on his profile his status said he was married and his occupation was vagina inspector. So I guess you value honesty and sincerity in others but not in yourself?
____________

Another guy who “smiled” at me had this profile. I have no words…

Rules;

1) if you are not gonna meet me in person, dont message me please, Im not on here for endless cyber-chat.
2) if you play head games, dont message me, Ive had enough of that from women on this site. I can spot you coming.
3) if you dont live in moncton or the surrounding area, your wasting my time and yours, tried the long distance thing twice, doesnt work, never will, not with me.
4) I cannot stress this enough, YOU MUST BE WILLING TO COMMITT TO A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP. Im not looking to date, I have enough friends, and if I wanted to get laid, Id pay for it. less headaches that way.
5) I dont care what you look like, I dont care how old you are, I dont care if you have a job. I dont care if your on welfare. I DO CARE IF YOU LIE ABOUT THESE THINGS.
6) Last but not least, if your name is KENDRA, dont message me for any reason, I dont need the BS.

Now, this is me,

I work hard, 2 jobs, I provide for the people I care about. Ive raised 6 kids, all are doing well for themselves. Im open to anyone who has kids, I would even have more if the need was there, I am open to marriage, but it would have to be after a lengthy relationship, been stung to many times. BUT, I do show my feeling freely, not afraid to show my feminine side I guess you women would call it. I do have emotions, hurt me and you will see them.

WARNING. when I meet someone I like, I put alot of time and effort into it, if you dont want to move forward, or are scared of committment, your in the wrong profile.

I will add more as I see fit

________________

I also got an email from a guy who looks like a member of ZZ Top and claims he’s a Pagan. Niiiiiiicccccce.
________________

All-round bad writing:

- I want to love you body, mind and sole! Sole… do you mind my shoes or my fish?

- Not interested in someone to live with...interested in someone i can not life without ...

- hi i like to meet i nice woman

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